Tainted Muggle
by The Loser Who Cares
Summary: An ordinary muggle girl is placed at Hogwarts when her mother is killed by Voldemort. Draco isn't happy having a muggle at his school but in his attempts to tear her down they discover things about each other and things will never be the same. DMOC
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: I do not and will probably never own any of the rights to J.K. Rowling's works. There, I said it.**

"I'm going out!" I yelled to my mom as I raced out the door to meet my friends at the movies. I didn't really talk to my mom or my sister and, as it was summer, I never spent any time at home. Right then, my friends and I were meeting at the Cinema to sneak into a movie and basically squander the rest of the warm, welcoming day. Thinking about that almost made me want to change plans and go play soccer with Lavender. But then I remembered that my twin sister and me were currently not speaking. Not wanting to dwell on our latest argument, I pushed all thoughts of Lavender from my head and jogged to the Cinema.

Halfway through the movie, one of my friends, Kate, left for the bathroom. When she came back, and older man was following her with a grim look on his face, scanning the theater for something. Then she pointed at me and the older man squinted in my direction, beckoning me over to him. Thoroughly confused I stood up and walked over to where the two of them were standing. He walked out of the theater and Kate motioned for me to follow him. So I did.

"Are you Holly Brown?" He asked me in the hallway.

"Yes. Do I know you?" I didn't recognize him at all, so his knowing my name was really creeping me out. Why had Kate trusted him?

"You don't know me. I work for the Ministry of Magic, and I need you to come with me. We need to go have a talk with Miss Lavender Brown. I assume you're twins, based on how much you two look alike." He then turned and walked away. And once again I followed, wondering why the whole time because he could've been some insane stalker or something. But something made me follow him. There was just something that pulled me after him.

What did the Ministry of Magic want with me anyways? I wasn't a witch. There wasn't a magical drop of blood in my veins. **(A/N, I have no idea if Lavender is muggleborn or not)** Lavender was the one who got the letter of acceptance into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She's the one who went to boarding school every year and she's the one who knows the famous Harry Potter.

We walked down several long, bending back roads until we came to a large Oak tree. The man pulled out a stick of wood, poked the tree, and muttered something. Suddenly a handle appeared on the bark which the man twisted and pulled open, revealing an opening, which he then climbed through. Astonished, I followed.

We were in what looked like an interrogation room. Lavender was already sitting at the table in the middle of the room, with her back towards me. I sat down in the chair next to her and the man sat across from us. That's when I looked at Lavender and saw the tears stains running down her face. Now she seemed to be staring off into space. I got a strong sense of foreboding. I knew that the reason we were here wasn't a happy reason.

"You-Know-Who has claimed three muggle lives today outside of a 'Blockbuster's' food store." I didn't correct him. "One of the lives belonged to a Miss Ivy Brown, age 42, brown hair, black eyes, approximately five foot, seven inches…."

I didn't comprehend anything else he said, though I'm sure he continued talking. I just sat there looking off into space. Who did he think he was kidding? Mom wasn't dead! She couldn't be! It just wasn't possible! Yet the never-ending description pouring from the Ministry man's mouth was just too much of a coincidence. This couldn't be happening. I had just seen mom this morning. What were we going to do? How would we live without mom? Panic started inside me and flashbacks started rolling inside my head. Painting fingernails, skipping rocks, playing soccer, baking pounds of disheveled flour and eggs that slightly resembled cakes, dressing up for Halloween, setting up tents in the backyard, singing, watching movies.

She couldn't be gone. She wasn't gone. This was just some sick joke. But then I looked at Lavender and I saw fresh tears rolling down her cheeks and knew that the awful man from the ministry was telling the truth. Shock fully overtook me.

"Miss Brown!" The man snapped, obviously annoyed that I hadn't answered him earlier, even though Miss Brown could be referring to either Lavender or me. I wanted to slap him. I needed my grieving time, so how dare he intrude on my emotions!

"What!" I shouted back at him. He looked surprised.

"I was just saying that we need to figure out what to do with you now." What to do with me! Like I was some kind of object that needed storage! "You can live with your father if you choose to," I felt my face pale. There was no way I was going to go back to live with that bastard! "But I think that there is another choice that would work out well." I waited. He was probably going to stick me inside of some muggle zoo so that magical people could point and gawk at me. "You can go to Hogwarts with your sister. It would be a great learning experience to live in the magical world. You would go to class and do the written homework, but you wouldn't be expected to perform any magic." Get away from this world? That sounded like it might be a good idea at this point in time. I nodded my head in agreement and promptly burst into tears. "Well if that's settled then, I'll just leave you two to grieve. Feel free to leave any time. We will send you more information as the summer reaches its end." And the man left us there crying. Bastard.

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Three weeks had passed since my mother's death when an owl flew into Kate's room, where I had been staying. I couldn't bear to go back to my house with all the memories resting there. Cautiously I opened up the letter and pulled out the parchment inside. There was a list of school supplies and a letter telling me that I would be staying in the same dorm as my sister, in Gryffindor.

Kate walked in and I showed her the letter. I had told her that I was going to be going to boarding school with my sister, but she didn't seem to understand the whole 'it's a _magical_ school' thing. She read the letter with a sad look on her face. This would be the first year we weren't going to the same school. She had been my best friend ever since the beginning of Kindergarten when she had moved into the house behind mine. I stood up and hugged her, but we both knew that we would be parting ways in less than three days, when my school started. We decided to find Lavender and all three of us would go to Diagon Alley. Kate was allowed to go into the magical world because her family was hosting me.

Lavender led the way into the Leaky Cauldron, out the back door, and next to the trash can, and then she created a doorway in the large brick wall, leading into Diagon Alley. Kate looked shocked. That was the first bit of magic she had seen. We stepped into the magical world and got shopping. None of us felt like talking much, so the shopping passed by a lot faster than it would have normally. I still couldn't believe my mom was dead and gone, just like that.

I felt tears well up in my eyes again, and Kate squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. I wondered how much longer her death would hurt. I didn't think I could stand it much longer. We walked back to the muggle world and took a taxi home.

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It was the day. Hogwarts started today. I would be leaving my life behind and starting all over in a place where no one knew my name, no one knew my past, and no one had passed any judgment on me yet.

Lavender and I walked through the barrier onto platform 9 3/4. She was now allowed to do magic again, so she placed a cheering charm on both of us so that we could get through the day without seeming too depressed. An eccentric girl immediately ran up to Lavender and embraced her. "Um, nice to see you too Parvati." So this was Parvati. Parvati stepped back and glanced at me quickly. Then her eyes did a double take. I guess Lavender never bothered telling her she had a twin. Parvati was still glancing back and forth from me to my sister to me to my sister.

I grinned and introduced myself to her. "I'm Holly, Lavender's sister." Suddenly another Parvati appeared by Lavender and I guessed I wasn't the only twin at Hogwarts.

"Hey Padma!" Lavender exclaimed. Then she linked arms with the identical twins and walked away, onto the train.

I stepped onto the train and found an empty compartment where I sat down. After a couple minutes the compartment door slid open again and three people filed into my compartment. One of them had an unusual scar on his forehead, one was a redhead, female, and the last one was a slightly chubby boy with a wary look on his face.

"Finally, a semi-empty compartment!" The last boy exclaimed as he sat down across from me. He extended his hand towards me. "I'm Neville Longbottom, and these are my friends Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley." I shook his hand, thankful that people were friendly here.

"I'm Holly Brown, Lavender's sister. I'm a muggle, but I've been stuck at Hogwarts this year anyways." The three of them stared at me curiously.

"You mean to say you have absolutely no magic in your blood?" The scarred boy asked.

"Yup."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Harry Potter, I'm from a muggle family myself."

"I know who you are. Lavender's had a crush on you for years." Harry laughed.

I turned to the redhead. "Are you Ron's sister? You have such red hair!" Harry laughed harder. Ginny glared at him and whapped him on the back of the head.

"Yes." She responded to my question. For the next while, Harry and Ginny tried to explain to me what Hogwarts would be like, and Neville sat staring at me in wonder. At the end half an hour Luna Lovegood, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger had also shown up.

The door slid open again, but this time it wasn't a friendly face looking in at us. A pale boy with blond hair and a body to die for was glaring at all of us.

"Whose the new Golden girl?" He inquired, rudeness coating every word.

"Get out Malfoy." Harry snarled at him. Malfoy just smirked.

"No, I don't think I will." He stepped into the compartment, headed towards me and raised his wand. Suddenly I began to feel like I was floating in space. It was the best sensation in the world. 'Tell him who you are' a voice said inside my head.

"My name is Holly Brown." I felt the words roll of my lips as if they weren't my own. Malfoy seemed surprised and as suddenly as it had started, the floating sensation disappeared.

"You mean Brown as in Lavender Brown? Brown has a sister?" I nodded weakly. Harry was looking furious.

"That was an illegal curse Malfoy! Get out of the compartment now or I will hex you overlarge ass off."

Malfoy ignored him and continued talking to me, still with the rudeness coating every word. "Dumbledore let in a muggle! Father will be pissed! This should be interesting. So tell me, why are you just now starting at Hogwarts. Did mommy decide she didn't want you anymore? Or are you running away from Daddy because he hit you one too many times?" I was furious. He had no idea what had happened to me and he was treating me like dirt; as if he was better than me.

"Fuck off." I spat at him

"Hit a nerve, did I?"

"Leave her alone Malfoy."

"Make me."

"Gladly."

There was a blast like a cannon as Malfoy shot backwards, through the glass doors, landing in the hallway with a loud thump. With another wave of his wand, Harry had repaired the glass doors, leaving Malfoy in the hallway. I laughed. Malfoy stood up and shook himself off. Then he looked right at me. A harsh voice spoke in my head. 'This isn't finished Mudblood.' With that, he walked off.

"What's a mudblood?" I asked.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Around." I didn't want to say I was hearing voices, even if I was almost positive it was Malfoy speaking in my head.

"It's an offensive term for a person of from a muggle family."

"Oh."

The rest of the train ride passed without incident, and I was getting incredibly nervous. I hoped that there weren't too many more jerks like Malfoy because I didn't know if I would be able to stand them. But the alternative would be living with my dad and going to school over there. There was no way I was ever even looking at my dad again. I would never forgive him for everything he did. I would welcome Hogwarts with an open mind. I would make mom proud of me. This year was going to be a year of change. Not just for me, but for the whole magical world as well.

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**REVIEW! EVEN IF THERE ARE MORE CHAPTERS AND U WANNA WAIT TILL UR DONE, I DON'T CARE, REVIEW NOW ALREADY DAMNIT I'm gunna put in more Draco later on, so PLEASE READ IT..**

**this is like the fourth version of this chapter, and there will probably be many more to come.. sigh I guess I'm just really picky and I can never get all the mistakes in one or two goes. ah well.. right now i have 13 chapters up.. YAY.. and im still only like 6 weeks into the school year... im so pathetic.. heehee. and in real life theres only 14 more days in my school year. WHOOOO im excited for summer.. i soooo cant wait.. aggggg now im all gettin hyped up **

**I don't think my next chapters are as depressing. I just needed to introduce the whole background for my fanfiction. Yeah. This is my first fanfic, so have mercy. Please. Pretty please. But please review. Thanx: ) : D**


	2. llama song!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that's not mine. That makes sense right?**

I felt the train stop with a jolt and I followed Ginny from the compartment. She led me up a steep hill, through the pouring rain. We stopped at a line of carriages attached to what looked like a deformed unicorn, or a mix between a black scaly lizard and a giant horse. Someone coughed and I realized how stupid I must've looked, just standing there, gawking at these incredible creatures.

"You can see them?" Harry whispered to me.

"Ya." How could I have NOT seen them, I mean, come on, they were giant scaly horses. It's not the kind of thing I saw everyday. "How could I NOT see them?"

"Only people who have seen someone die can see them." Harry whispered. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione were looking at me strangely. Neville was climbing into a carriage already, and Luna looked indifferent to the whole situation. I didn't know what to say.

"Oh."

"Who'd you see snuff it?" Luna asked bluntly. "I saw my mom die when I was little." I just stared at her. I didn't want to tell these people secrets from my past because I didn't even know them.

"She obviously doesn't want to talk about it, so just leave her alone." I made a mental note to hug Hermione.

Ginny climbed into the carriage, and I followed her, taking a seat next to Neville. Harry, Ron, Luna, and Hermione followed me, and they began to point out different landmarks on the Hogwarts grounds. I couldn't see much through the rain, but I heard all about a violent tree, a lake with a monster living in it, a tiny cabin belonging to someone named 'Hagrid', and last of all, a giant field with stands that was used to play a magical game on broomsticks.

"Why would someone name a sport Kid Itch?" I asked. Suddenly there was silence in the carriage.

The next second Hermione was cracking up, holding her sides, Harry was ranting about 'the best sport in the world!' and Ron was glaring at me, as if trying to make me burst into flames as punishment for asking a question. It was just a question! I felt my cheeks begin to flush and I stared determinedly out the window, even though I couldn't see anything.

"Harry, Ron, stop being such prats! It's not that big of a deal! Holly, Quidditch is a wizarding sport, a very popular wizarding sport, and it's kind of a huge deal in the magical world."

"_Kind of_ a huge deal! Quidditch is the best spor-" Harry's rant was cut short by a silencing charm. I made a mental note to hug Ginny after I hugged Hermione.

The carriage stopped and we all climbed out, into the rain. Pulling my hood over my head, I rushed after my new friends. Yes, I had decided that these people were trustworthy enough to be my friends. I stumbled over the cement steps leading to the entrance of the school, and Ginny caught me. We both stepped inside the school at the same time, and she laughed at my surprised expression.

Hogwarts was HUGE. I'd just spent all of my previous years in public school, and suddenly I was in this beautiful, huge, richly decorated, extravagant building that I would be spending the rest of the year in. Public school to Hogwarts was like going from a tiny shack in an abandoned area of Africa to Tokyo. This year was going to be fun.

I followed my friends into a huge hallway that led to a HUGE dining hall. Everything here seemed to be huge. It was AWESOME! But then I began to feel guilty for enjoying all the splendor because my mom had to die for me to get all this. But now wasn't the time for me to become depressed. It was a time of first impressions, so I tried to push all thoughts of my mom out of my head.

We sat down at one of four long tables. There were probably 200 people at each table. Almost immediately after we had sat down, a line of young students were led into the hall by a stiff lady with her hair wrapped up in a tight bun. The stiff lady placed as hat on a stool, and then…. It began to sing… A hat singing! I was too absorbed in the concept of a singing hat to actually comprehend what the hat was saying. It was a _Singing _Hat! It SUNG! I just couldn't get over it. But, this was the magical world, and I would just have to get used to the fact that things were different here than in my world. I wondered what I would see next. Maybe a quacking llama. **(A/N watch the llama song!)**

Anyways, after the hat was done singing, the midgets walked forwards and took turns putting the hat on their heads. Then they walked to the table that the hat named. How did the hat get all this power?

After all the midgets were divvied up, the Headmaster stood up. I might not know very much about the wizarding world, but I know who Professor Dumbledore is. I've heard Lavender talk about him, and I've seen one of those funny cards with the pictures and bios for famous wizards and witches. I was expecting some kind of world-changing speech from such a famous and respected man, but I was sorely disappointed. He said a couple of gibberish words and then food appeared.

There was so much food! And it had appeared out of thin air. I didn't take the time to try to comprehend this bit of magic; I just started stuffing.

"Holly, stop it, you're acting too much like Ron." Ginny said.

I looked up. Ron was stuffing his face just as badly as I had been only seconds before. But seeing someone else stuffing is so much funnier than actually doing the stuffing yourself. I cracked up. Pretty soon Ginny, Hermione, and Harry had joined me, and the best part was that Ron was totally oblivious. I think he was concentrating too hard on trying to get his mouth to close with all that food in it.

The feast finally came to an end, and I followed the rest of the Gryffindors up to our common room. I shared a dorm with Lavender, Parvati, and Hermione. As we were unpacking, an owl flew in and dropped a letter on my bed, and then flew away again. The letter was from Dumbledore telling me to go to his office so he could talk to me about my classes. Reluctantly, I left my friends in search of the entrance to the headmaster's office. I had been walking through the hallways for fifteen minutes before I admitted to myself that I was lost.

"Hey mudblood," said a familiar voice. I paled. I was alone, with no magic to protect myself. "I told you it wasn't finished. Did you not believe me?"

"I have somewhere to go," I muttered, not turning to look at him

"To talk to the headmaster?" Smirked Malfoy. "You bought that?"

I was rooted to the spot as Malfoy walked closer to me. He turned me around slowly so that I was facing him, and forced me to look into his eyes. They were a blazing silver that made me shudder. He smirked. "Scared?" I nodded slowly. "Good.

"You're new here, so I thought I should lay down some ground rules before you take off with Potter and his gang of insufferable suck-ups. I am a pureblood wizard, and you are a muggle. I don't know how you got landed in a school of magic when there's only mudblood running through your veins. Dumbledore may think that this is a clever plan to force unity between wizards and muggles, but I'm not falling for it. You're here for a reason, and I'm going to find out what it is!"

I just stared at him. He was truly a crazy lunatic. Maybe an extremely muscular and handsome crazy lunatic, but a crazy lunatic all the same. He began to laugh manically, and his eyes began to roll around in his head while flashing bright red. No, just kidding. But I still thought he was crazy. I might as well make him think I'm crazy too. Then maybe he'll leave me alone. So I broke out in song.

Here's a llama

There's a llama

And another little llama

Fuzzy llama

Funny llama

Llama llama

Duck!

Malfoy looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was crazy, I didn't really know what had come over me, but it just felt so good to be crazy. He started to back away from me slowly, and I kept on singing the llama song, my grin getting wider. I finished the song, turned tail, and ran as fast as my legs would take me, back to my dorm, leaving Malfoy staring at me with a look of horror on his face. Oh, this year was going to be sooo much fun.

It was late and I was tired, so I fell asleep almost immediately after I reached my bed. I didn't contemplate how my luggage had gotten up to my dorm earlier, or how I had even gotten up to my dorm. I just lay down and the next thing I knew was blissful nothingness.

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**yeah, I'm posting this like right after I posted the first chapter, but I wanted to get farther into the story. And if you're wondering what the hell the llama song is, google llama song, and watch the video. Even if you do know what I'm talking about, go there anyways, cuz its so friggin funny! Llama llama duck!**


	3. Life is so unfair

Disclaimer: I do not own Draco (unfortunately) or any of the other characters in The Harry Potter books.

I woke up early the next morning, anxiety overtaking me. It was the first day of classes, and I had no idea what to expect. There was sure to be another encounter with Malfoy, and I wondered if he would still be scared of me. The thought made me crack a grin.

"What are you smiling about?" Asked Parvati.

"Nothing," I responded innocently.

"Ooh, who is he?"

"What?"

"The boy that's got you smiling. There's no other reason you'd be smiling this early in the morning."

"There's no boy, I'm just remembering… things… What do you know about Malfoy?

"The boy is Malfoy! You've got good taste there. One look at his body and you've melted into a puddle at his feet, ready to do what it takes to get him."

"No! I don't like Malfoy. I just want to know what's up with him."

"Oh." Parvati seemed disappointed with this news. "Malfoy is a pureblood wizard who comes from a well-known rich and evil family. His father is a major supporter of You-Know-Who. But Malfoy is also the Sex God of Hogwarts, and quite possibly the world. He can get any girl he wants, with no effort at all. I bet he could even get Hermione to fall for him if he had the desire to try."

At the mention of Voldemort, I had tensed up. So Malfoy was connected to the lunatic who murdered my mom? Well, I would get him back for it, even if it took the whole year.

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My first class was Transfiguration, with the Slytherins. That's the house that Malfoy was in. I reached the classroom and took a seat next to Hermione who had obviously already been sitting there, reading her textbook, for at least twenty minutes. I made a mental note to ask her for help with homework. Then my mental notes reminded me that I owed her a hug, so a leaned over and wrapped my arms around her.

Her eyes shot wide open and it was apparent that she hadn't realized I was sitting there. I laughed and turned to the front of the classroom where the strict lady was writing on a chalkboard.

"That's Professor McGonagall," Hermione whispered to me. "She's head of Gryffindor."

At that moment McGonagall turned around and spotted me, and then beckoned me to the front of the classroom. I obeyed.

"Transfiguration is a subject that requires magical abilities, as it involves using a wand to change one thing into something else. Since you do not have these abilities, your assignment will be to observe your fellow students and grade them based on how good the outcome is and how good their technique is. That means you will be graded on being able to tell good technique from bad technique. Understand?"

I nodded, and she waved me back to my seat.

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Malfoy woke up in a sweat. He tried to remember what he had been dreaming about, but all he could remember was something about a fuzzy llama. Damn that muggle girl for freaking him out so badly. He'd had a hard enough summer, and now his school year was going to be just as bad, if not worse.

Over the summer, Malfoy senior had wanted Draco to get the Dark Mark, but Draco had declined the invitation, and his father had not been pleased. Wincing, Draco got out of bed and looked in the mirror. He pulled off his shirt and examined all the cuts and bruises on his back. That's what happened when you tried to defy a Malfoy. But Draco had succeeded in putting off his initiation ceremony until the next summer.

Suddenly, he realized that his dorm was totally empty.

"Shit." He was late for classes on his first day. That wasn't smart. He threw on his robes over his bare chest and boxers and ran out of the common room. His first class just had to Transfigurations with McGonagall; the strictest teacher in the whole school.

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I smirked as Malfoy rushed into class ten minutes late the next day. His hair was all disheveled, and he looked like crap. I must've freaked him out more than I'd thought. "Nice of you to join us Malfoy. Late, on your first day! Next tardy will be a detention."

"Damn McGonagall!" Malfoy muttered under his breath. Why couldn't she be unobservant for one day? Just one day!

"What was that Malfoy?"

"Nothing."

"Good. Now, as I was saying, Ms. Brown will be grading all of her classmates on their effort during class. I expect all of you to treat her as you would a teacher, because she will help me decide on your grades. Take out your text books; today we will be working on turning inanimate objects into living, breathing, animals."

I got out my textbook and looked over the technique we would need to turn pillows into raccoons. Then I began to walk around the classroom. My job was so easy; I couldn't believe that I wouldn't be doing any real work in this class. I walked over to Harry and Hermione, and I noticed a depressing look on Harry's face.

"What's wrong?"

"Leave him alone." Hermione snapped at me. I was surprised. What had happened to put them both in bad moods? I looked down to the page that Harry's textbook was opened up to and saw an animated picture of a person transforming a rock into a big, black, shaggy dog.

"What an ugly dog." I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I immediately knew I had said the wrong thing. Harry looked like he was about to cry, and Hermione looked like she was about to slap me for making Harry even more depressed. I gave up on them and walked over to the next table group, where Lavender and Parvati were seated.

"Why is Harry acting all depressed at the mention of a stupid, black, shaggy, dog?"

Parvati and Lavender exchanged eye contact as if debating on whether or not to tell me why, but then Parvati spoke.

"Harry had a godfather named Sirius who was an animagus which means he could turn into another animal at will, or in his case, a giant dog. Sirius died a couple months ago, and he was the closest thing Harry had to a parent. Don't talk to him about it though, or he will blow up."

That would explain it.

Slowly, I walked away, deep in thought. I got a reality check when I accidentally ran into a table on the other side of the classroom. The Slytherin side. I was in dark territory now, and to top it all off, I had run into the table with the palest, blondest git in the world.

"Watch where your going Brown." Malfoy smirked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was daydreaming about running through large, grassy fields, dotted with llamas. There were fuzzy llamas, and funny llamas, and there was even a llama in a car! It was awesome. But I guess now I should get back on task and grade you on you technique. Let's see it then."

Malfoy looked at me strangely and then transfigured my shirt into a giant python. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I don't hate snakes. Actually, I love snakes, but the fact there was now a giant python wrapped around me, and I was shirtless, freaked me out. I was friggin shirtless! Blood rushed to my face as I tried to cover up my bra from public view.

McGonagall noticed the commotion and turned my shirt back, but I was still thoroughly embarrassed. Guys were staring at me with perverted looks on their faces, and girls were either glaring at me, or laughing at me. Malfoy got a detention, but I wished I could've punished him more than that. He got a detention for exposing me to the public. _Just _a detention. Life was so unfair.

Hermione looked at me with pity on her face, and I went to go sit with my friends.

"You shouldn't have gone over there, you know." Hermione chided me when I sat down.

"Well, I know that now thank you very much, and it's not like I had anywhere else to go with you guys all moping about some serious guy who died." I snapped at her, upset that she hadn't warned me earlier, and annoyed that she thought now would be a good time to scold me for it.

Harry looked up sharply at these words. "Don't you dare talk about Sirius like that," he said in a controlled yet threatening voice.

"I'll talk about him anyway I want, seeing as how all I know about him is stuff I've over heard. My friends won't tell me about their issues themselves, so I have to go eavesdrop on people to know what's going on. Why didn't you tell me when I asked earlier? Everyone else around her knows."

"I didn't want to think about it," was Harry's reply.

"Well sometimes you have to think about it! If it makes you that depressed, you have to know how to let it out."

There was an unspoken agreement not to continue with that conversation, and the rest of class was spent thinking up punishments for Malfoy to make him pay for my embarrassment. By the end of class, it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. It actually started to seem funny to me too, and I almost wanted to congratulate Malfoy on his wonderful transfiguration technique. Almost.

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After Transfiguration, I had muggle studies with Hufflepuff, which, of course, I had absolutely no trouble with. Then I had lunch, and then the Gryffindors had Potions with the Slytherins. Harry warned me that Snape, the Potion's teacher, was also the head of Slytherin, so he would be favoring them, and I was preparing myself for another encounter with Malfoy. I could only pray that the next one would not involve me flashing any part of my body.

Ron, Hermione, Harry, and I, all headed down to the dungeons together. The dark hallways and brick walls were less than inviting. We stepped into the potion's classroom and my spirits fell. The tables were set up with three people per table. I knew that I would be the odd one out, so I would be sitting by myself. Possibly with people I didn't know or didn't like.

People filed into the classroom, and took seats. The two seats at my table were never claimed. Snape swooped in, and still, I was by myself. I was beginning to think I would be working solo when, 5 minutes after class had started, Malfoy swooped into the room. It was just my luck that every other table was full except for mine. I cursed under my breath.

"That'll be detention Ms. Brown. That is not appropriate language for this classroom." I sat there open-mouthed as Malfoy took the seat next to me, smirking. I had gotten detention for one or two cuss words, while Malfoy had walked into class 5 minutes late and Snape had pretended not to notice. Life was so unfair.

And now I was faced with the prospect of dealing with Malfoy for a whole class period.

"Today we will be starting a unit on truth serums. We will start with an easier potion, and work up to Veritaserum, which takes a full-month just to mature. The instruction are up on the board, and I expect that all of you have perfect potions seeing as how this is a N.E.W.T. level class."

I had no idea what we were doing. Something about a potion that made people tell the truth. Everyone else in the class had already gotten started, and I was sitting there dumbly. I guess this was normal routine for all of them.

"Are you going to get started or just sit there staring into space?" Sneered Malfoy.

I blushed and looked towards my partner. "I don't know what we're supposed to be doing. I've never made a potion before."

"Fine. Do what I tell you, and watch me. I cannot believe they let a muggle into Hogwarts and they expect it to do magic. Just my luck that I get stuck working with it. But she does have a nice rack."

I couldn't take it anymore, and I smacked him. He just laughed.

"Go get the porcupine quills."

I didn't have much choice, so I did as he said. We worked silently for the rest of the class except for when he started ranting under his breath about how he was going to get Dumbledore fired for putting a muggle in Hogwarts.

After class I met up with Ginny and I began ranting about what an insufferable prick Malfoy was.

"I know, I know," Ginny said. "Life is so unfair.

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_REVIEWWWWWWW! NOWW! I DON'T CARE IF THEYRE BAD REVIEWS I JUST WANT MY REVIEWWWWSSSSSSSS!_

**Hi people! I'm still not really sure where I'm going with this fic, but I will have Malfoy and Holly end up together. Thank you to the three people who reviewed so far. Especially Ponta, because I cracked up when I read your review.**

The last couple days haven't been that busy, but I've played DDR a whole friggin lot, and I finally bought a homecoming dress. Whooot! Actually, I found my dress, and then my friend Jucel lost it. Well, kind of. She hid it in a suit cuz we didn't have time to stand in the long line to put it on hold, and when we came back later, it was gone. It took like half an hour to find it again. But yeah, it was weird.

**Next weekend, my parents and my two brothers are going camping, and they're leaving me behind at my friend April's house for 4 days. I don't know if I'll update before then or not. If not, just bear with me; I'll try to update soon.**


	4. Detention dun dun dun heehee

**Disclaimer: I do not own things that do not belong to me.**

The next morning, I woke up to nonstop giggling. I looked over to Parvati's bed and saw her looking at what appeared to be a photograph. I snuck over to her bed and looked at the picture. Two things struck me. The first thing was that the picture was moving. The second thing was that the picture was of me.

I was wearing a black bra and there was a snake wrapped around my torso.

"How the hell did you get that?" I screamed in Parvati's ear.

She jumped and promptly dropped the photo, which I then picked up and tore to pieces. "They were handing them out after dinner last night, and I thought it was funny."

"Who was handing them out?"

"A group of Slytherins."

"What's all the commotion?" Asked Lavender, finally aware that something was going on.

"I'll tell you what's going on!" I yelled. "Some Slytherin managed to snap a picture of me after Malfoy had transfigured my shirt into a snake, and they were handing out copies of it after dinner last night!" My sister cracked a grin, but immediately hid it, doing her best to show sympathy for her only sibling.

I glared at her.

"What!" She asked exasperatedly. "It's funny. It'll be old news next week, so you might as well take advantage of the limelight this week."

I just shook my head in annoyance and stormed over to the showers. God, I needed a shower so badly, just to let the warm water run over my body and calm me down. I needed some time to think about everything that was going on in my life.

Mom had died only four weeks ago, and I still hadn't finished grieving for her. I felt like I owed her more time in my thoughts because of everything she had done for me. Harry and I should form a support group or something. That would be interesting.

Anyways, I took a long, hot shower, and headed down to breakfast, where Ron had saved me a seat sitting with him, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny.

We were eating in the silence that's caused by not having any member of your group properly awake, when a swarm of owls flew in. I was fascinated. Owls were flying in every direction, dropping packages at random. Most packages hit their mark, but there was one package that landed on top of Ron rather than on the table right in front of him.

"Damn it Errol!" Ron growled as he smoothed his hair down again. He opened up the package and then snapped it shut just as I was trying to get a look at it. Then he sent a strange look in Hermione's direction and passed the package down to her. She opened it, closed it again quickly, and then stuffed it inside of her book bag. I was dying to know what it was, but I was too tired to take an attempt at a logical conversation this early in the morning.

Right then an owl dropped a letter in front of me. Curiously, I reached for it. Why would anyone I knew be sending me a letter? The answer became clear once I opened the letter; I was to serve my detention that night with Filch and Malfoy. I groaned inwardly and showed the letter to Ginny who looked at my sympathetically. She was the only one I had ranted about Malfoy to. I got the impression that Harry, Hermione, and Ron didn't like Malfoy much either, but I wasn't going go griping to them about things they probably didn't care about. They had better things to do with their time.

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My second day at Hogwarts seemed to go by much faster than the first day. That might have been because I was dreading the detention at the end of the day. It would no doubt be something incredibly difficult for someone with no magical abilities to complete. On a happier note, I only had a free period that day because I had been excused from Charms classes. There was no way I would be able to do anything in that class. I was divided on how I felt about that. On one hand, it was one less class to have to deal with, but on the other hand, it was just another sign of how different from everyone else I was. I felt like an outcast. It wasn't a great feeling. But it was better than having to live with my dad.

Classes got out, homework was finished, chess was played, dinner was eaten, and the next thing I knew I was being ushered to the entrance to the hallway where I was to meet Filch.

"Today you will be cleaning the trophy room. That includes dusting the trophies, scrubbing the floors, and reorganizing the display of trophies in the display case. You will be doing all of this without magic." I opened my eyes I had been squeezing tightly shut, and I let out a breath I hadn't even realized I had been holding. This wasn't bad at all. It would take maybe two hours tops. That's not nearly as bad as the chores at my house when my mom had still been alive… I stopped the thoughts about my mom and looked up at Malfoy who looked almost bored.

Filch led us to the trophy room and shoved Malfoy and me inside along with all of the cleaning supplies. He told us he'd be checking up on us in two hours to dismiss us or point out things that still needed to be finished. Then he shut the door and left.

After his footsteps could no longer be heard in the hallways outside the room, Malfoy pulled out his wand lazily and cleaned the whole room with a swish of his wand.

"God, Filch is such an idiot. He tells us to clean without magic, but he doesn't he even have enough sense to take away our wands. Sorry, _my_ wand."

"What do we do for the next two hours then?" I asked Malfoy resignedly.

"I have some ideas of things I'd like to do with an attractive girl I might happen to spend two hours with. Alone." He began walking towards me and I began freaking out. Boys were only judgmental and racist until their goddam hormones kicked in, and then anyone was free game.

"Stop it Malfoy. I'm a muggle remember? I have no magical powers and I'm intruding in on your school. You hate me remember?" My voice was starting to get higher and more panicked as Malfoy continued advancing towards me.

My back hit the wall and I realized that I was cornered, so I decided to stand in the defensive position they teach muggle girls in self-defense classes.

His face was two feet from mine. One foot from mine. Six inches from mine. I could see his grey eyes clouded with lust. Guys were such pricks. His blonde hair was settled sexily on his head, and his body was so perfect that it drove me crazy. He leaned in and our lips made contact. I tried to push him back, but he pinned my hands above my head with one muscular arm and tried to gain access to my mouth. But he forgot one essential. He had my back and my arms pinned, but what about my legs?

With one swift movement, I needed him in the place where it hurts the most, and he let go of me abruptly. I always knew self-defense classes would come in handy someday. My lips formed a smirk as I watched Malfoy clutching at his groin and wincing in pain. 'Serves him right,' I thought. 'You are so going to pay for that.' I thought. Wait, I thought _what_? Crap, was Malfoy in my head again?

I looked in his sharply in his direction and saw him glaring at me as if he were trying to cause me to spontaneously combust. Newsflash Malfoy, I wasn't planning on bursting in flame any time soon.

When I came back to reality after being consumed with thoughts, I realized that my lips were tingling. Unconsciously, I raised my fingers to my lips and felt them softly. The bastard standing across from me noticed and smirked. He was a good kisser and I hadn't even been kissing back! This was going to complicate things a lot because I got the feeling that my feuding with Malfoy wasn't over just yet. Hell, we still had another hour and a half of the detention left.

"Hey Mudblood."

I shook my thoughts away long enough to respond. "What do you want?"

"Why are you here? I mean, why did you start going to a wizarding school this year even though you're worse than just a mudblood? You're a muggle! There is no place in a school of magic for someone with no magic.

"I have no where else to go." I responded. I didn't really want to talk about everything that had happened to me, but I knew I had to give him some answer.

"Where were you all the other years? Why couldn't you stay there?"

"I lived with my mom and she died." I whispered, feeling tears well up in my eyes

"No doubt it was because muggles have no good safety measure or medicines." Malfoy said arrogantly.

"No! If you must know, my mom was killed by some magical lunatic named Voldemort!" I yelled at him angrily, tears streaming down my face now. I had just told him that my mom had died and his words of comfort had been that it was our problem she had died because muggles just didn't have advanced enough technology.

Malfoy looked enraged at my reference to Voldemort.

"Oh that's right, the Malfoys and Voldemort are tight and I shouldn't be talking down about him because evil is the way to go! I've heard about your father's obsessive support of the dark magic, and his attempts at ridding the world of mudbloods forever."

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear," was all he had to say to that. We sat in silence for a long time before he finally spoke up again.

"What about you father? Why can't you live with him?" Why did he have to pry so much into my life? He'd already made me think about my mom, and now he was making me remember my father too. I tried to push those memories back under the surface, but I just couldn't seem to do it.

"My dad is an evil bastard and I hope I never see him again, because if I do I will kill him with my bare hands. I couldn't fight him back last time, but I'm prepared this time. He will pay for what he did." I sat glaring at the wall across from me, remembering the things my dad had done. I felt a fresh wave of tears crash down on me, and I drooped my head down.

"What did he do?

"Stop prying into my life you son of a bitch!" I screamed at him. He was reopening wounds that had taken a long time to heal the first time. They would probably take even longer to heal this time. It was times like these that made me wish I had someone I could tell everything to. My sister didn't even know everything. She just knew that my dad had hit my mom one too many times.

I began sobbing and rocking back and forth on the ground with my arms wrapped around my knees. Malfoy put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from rocking so much.

"I can't stand to see a mudblood to cry."

"Is that all I am to you? A mudblood? I'm a person too. I'm a human being with feelings and emotions and needs, and you're doing your best to throw me off track! I don't want to be reopening all these old wounds, but you seem to like to watch me suffer! Fine! Watch me suffer and get your bloody hands off me!" I shoved his hands off my shoulders and stormed out the door, only to be met by Filch who was standing there with his hand on the doorknob, apparently about to open to door to check in on us.

"We're all done, sir." I said through my tears and Filch looked too shocked to say anything, so he just nodded his head.

Why did Malfoy have to do this to me? Why did he care? Why did he take the time to know why I was at Hogwarts when my friends didn't know anything at all about me? Was he just trying to get to know the enemy better, or was he actually interested in what I had to say? I tossed and turned all night, finally getting about three hours of sleep total.

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The next week was pretty much a blur for me. I was always tired due to lack of sleep and overworking myself. I stopped talking to people and spent most of my time in the library pretending to study while I was actually analyzing my life and what had gone wrong to lead me to this point. At the end of the week, the only conclusion I had come to was that I had to talk to Malfoy again because he was the only one who forced me to look at myself and think about what had happened. I would never get over anything if I just kept running from my problems.

I could be hyper and crazy and llama-obsessive, but I needed to deal with my underlying problems first.

Now I just had to figure out how to go about accomplishing this.

Step 1). Show the world that I'm not just a mudblood.

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REVIEW NOW OR I WILL SEND THE GAY VERSION OF RON TO BOTHER YOU UNTIL YOU ARE FORCED TO KILL HIM

Hey people! I typed this whole thing up in two hours last night because I really wanted to update before I was gone for a whole week. It will probably be full of spelling errors and such, so please don't hassle me. Two hours! It's not perfect. I'm still deciding on how to get Holly and Malfoy together. I think it will start more in the chapter next, because I already know what I'm doing for the next chapter.

Thanks to the only four people who've reviewed so far. I don't think I'm going to update unless I get another four reviews, because there's no point in updating if no one reads the story. I can just have the story securely locked inside my head. More than four reviews would be great, but I don't know how often people read knew stories. Hell, I just published this thing like a week ago and this is the fourth chapter already.

**But yeah. Review! And go to www(dot)potterpuppetpals(dot)com I like the second one better, but they're both funny.. I might put random phrases from it in the next chapter.**

**Me and my friends Ponta, Shea, and Jucel get really incredibly hyper at school, even though it's highschool which is incredibly boring and even more incredibly early, but anyways, we get so hyper, and then I get home and I try to type semi-serious and it takes forever to calm down. We've been going around all week going "Bother, Bother, Bother!" With a weird accent, and we wave our arms at people and then the look at us strangely and we just go "well, screw them…." And find other people to bother. **


	5. Mudblood Truth

Disclaimer: This story is all mine, but some of the characters and settings belong to someone else. Unfortunately.

**I edited chapter 5, so no real need to read it again if you already have…**

"Holly, wake up!" I felt someone shake me and I groaned. My first instinct was to roll over, so I did, and succeeded in falling onto the hard floor. Wait, my room had carpeted floors. This floor was wood. Where was I?

"I can't believe you fell asleep in the library!" Came Harry's voice. That would explain the hard floors. "We've been looking for you all morning. It's Saturday and we thought we would take advantage of the weekend to hang out with you. You've been hiding all week, and we feel it's our duty to pull you out of hiding. Now get up, and we'll go get lunch."

Slowly, I rose to my feet. Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Harry were standing next to me. Apparently I had fallen asleep on the couch in the library. Wow, I must've been really tired.

I followed the other Gryffindors down many flights of stairs, and through many hallways. I'd never been this way before. We stopped in front of a painting of a fruit and I just stared at it confused. Hermione reached out a hand, tickled a pear, and suddenly the paining turned into a door that everyone climbed through. I just stood there staring dumbly at the painting/door until Harry finally pulled me through after him.

Inside, there were all of these weird creatures cooking. They rushed over to us, lead us to an empty table, and brought over sandwiches for all of us. I sat down and began eating.

"Spill." Said Ginny.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Something's up and we want to know what."

"It's nothing really. I just need time to adjust to my new life. Last year I was perfectly content going to a muggle school and living at home with my mo-" I stopped myself. I really didn't want to think about her right now. It just didn't seem like a good time to break down.

"Why did you start going here if you were perfectly content living at home?"

"Things change." I said harshly. I really didn't want to discuss my reasoning with them right now.

"Like what things?" Ginny was really just too curious for her own good.

"We've given you two weeks. You should be able to tell us simple things like why you're going here now instead of a muggle school." Hermione added.

"Come on, just tell us." Ron joined in.

"You can trust us, you know? Harry finished.

"You really want to know?" I was getting a little mad. What was it with people and prying into my life?

"Yes!" They all said unanimously.

"Fine! I give up! You want to know so I'm going to tell you, but I really don't want to talk about it." My attempt at making them feel guilty didn't work. They stayed silent. I guess they were really devoted to getting an answer out of me.

"I'm here because some son of a bitch named Voldemort decided it would be funny to kill my mom three weeks before the school year started! I'm here because I can't live with my dad because he abused me in ways that I don't even want to think about! I'm here because Lavender is the only living family member I have, besides my dad, and I couldn't bear to lose her too! Are you happy now! Life was perfect until one of your kind decided to kill her. Why did she have to die? Now I'm all alone in the world and there's nothing I can do to bring her back." My voice was reduced to whispers as I continued to rant about the injustice in the world, with tears streaming down my face.

It gave me a smug feeling to see the looks of shock on the faces of the people sitting around me. We sat there in silence for a couple minutes until Ginny spoke again.

"I am so sorry, Holly."

"Yeah? Well so is the rest of the world, but sorry doesn't help anything!" I didn't want sympathy from these people, I just wanted understanding, and it didn't look like I was going go be getting that anytime soon so I stood up and exited the kitchens. The hallways were totally unfamiliar to me and I found myself lost once again.

Finally, I just gave up and sat down, leaning against a wall. I guess I must've fallen asleep. When I woke up, Harry was sitting next to me, watching me carefully. There was no one else in sight, and it was starting to get dark. Harry saw that I was awake and looked determinedly forward.

"My mom was killed by Voldemort too." Harry said quietly. "I never even had a chance to know her. Then I met my godfather who became like a parent to me, only to have him snatched away during a battle with Voldemort's followers. I understand the difficulty of what you're going through."

I looked over to Harry to see him close to tears. Words can't express how grateful I was that I wasn't alone in my suffering.

"We should probably be getting back." I said softly. We both stood up, and Harry came over to me, wiping the tears from my eyes and then embracing me.

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When we got back to the common room I saw Hermione and Ginny talking to a crying Lavender. I stormed behind them in time to hear them blaming her for not helping me grieve properly.

"Leave my sister alone!" I yelled at them. "She didn't do anything! She didn't kill my mom and she certainly didn't extract personal information from a thoroughly depressed girl only to ditch her the second she started crying. I knew I shouldn't have told you guys! Come on Lavender, let's go somewhere else."

I dragged her away from Hermione and Ginny and we walked down to the great hall to see if there was still any dinner left.

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The rest of the weekend was spent in tense silence unless I was hanging out with Harry. We began forming a bond that would hopefully keep both of strong in difficult times to come. But I was all too glad when classes started up again on Monday.

First class on Mondays was Transfiguration, so I headed to McGonagall's room where Harry and his friends were already waiting. Hermione and I hadn't spoken all weekend because I was still mad at her for jumping on my only family member. Had she even heard the part of my speech about me coming to Hogwarts because I couldn't bear to lose Lavender too?

How could a person be so dense? I got the feeling that I would probably be the only person to ever call Hermione dense.

McGonagall walked to the front of the classroom to start class. We were working on the same thing we had been working on the previous week, so I wasn't too worried. I had managed to steer clear of Malfoy during classes after the snake incident.

Today though, McGonagall called me up to he desk while the rest of the class was working.

"I've noticed that the only people you are analyzing are Gryffindors. I need you to work with the Slytherins today because you're grading them too, remember?"

I groaned. And reluctantly nodded my head in acknowledgement.

Slowly, I walked over to the side of the room that I had been avoiding for the last week. Heads turned to smirk at me or glare at me. Several people looked at me with resentment in their eyes, Malfoy included.

"Go to your own side of the room bitch." Some Slytherin muttered in my direction. I glared defiantly at all of them and continued weaving in and out of their desks, with more confidence now.

I stopped in front of Malfoy's desk, remembering what had happened last time I had stood in that spot.

"Move or I'll do it again," murmured Malfoy, reading my thoughts. I heard several snickers and I blushed. 'You're cute when you blush,' came the voice in my head. I blushed darker. I had to learn how to do that. Get into other people's heads I mean. Searching my thoughts, I felt a presence. I followed it with my thoughts until I was right on top of it. 'Can you hear me now?' I asked inside my head, smirking at the overused slogan.

Malfoy jumped. I guess he hadn't been expecting that. I laughed and walked away quickly, before he could do anything to me.

After Muggle Studies, I searched all over for Harry so that I could talk to him during lunch. He was nowhere to be found. I went up to his dorm and found his map of the school that he was always carrying. Maybe something bad had happened to him! Scared thoughts kept running through my mind as I searched the map for any signs of a dot labeled 'Harry Potter'. Finally the dot appeared coming out of a room on a higher floor. He was followed by maybe twenty other students.

Curiously, I ran down to the great hall to meet him. He entered and sat down next to me at the Gryffindor table.

"Where were you?"

"I was doing homework in the library." He lied smoothly.

"No you weren't. I saw you come out an unlabeled room with a whole bunch of other students. What were you guys doing that you don't want to tell me about?"

Harry looked nervously at Ron and Hermione and then back at me. "Fine. We were practicing magic that we might need to use to against Voldemort during the final battle."

"And you didn't tell me this why? I was worried about you guys and all you were doing was practicing magic!"

"We didn't want you to feel bad because you can't do magic."

"Oh, I get it. You didn't want to tell me because then I would just be a useless tag-along. Don't tell the muggle because she can't help! I can help, even if I can't do magic! Am I really just a useless tag-along to you guys? I was worried about you guys because you are the only people I consider friends here. But you're no better than Malfoy. I can't do magic, so I'm lower than you and you shouldn't care about me!" I was well aware that Harry did care about me at least a little bit, but I was mad at him for not telling me what they were up to. I had spent all that time searching for them when I could've been doing useful things. They didn't even seem to care that I had been worried.

Harry and Hermione looked at me guiltily and I walked out of the great hall. I had to find a way to prove to these people that I wasn't just a muggle. They were no better than me except for the fact that they had more power than me. But a good person doesn't care about power.

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Today was our second potions class because Snape had gotten sick the previous week and they didn't have any substitutes to replace him. We walked into class and looked at the board. It said we would be working with the same partners we had worked with the previous Monday. I groaned. Maybe there was some connection with Monday's and running into Malfoy during class.

Malfoy came into class and sat down next to me moodily. He opened his mouth as if to talk to me, but Snape started talking before Malfoy could get a word out.

"Today we will be continuing with our truth serums and testing them at the end of class. Make sure you don't get it wrong."

Wait, what? We were going to be testing our potions? On ourselves? Isn't that dangerous? I glanced nervously at Malfoy who seemed unaffected by the prospect. I guess testing potions on one's self was a normal procedure in this class.

I looked up at the directions on the board and began to slice the flux weed so that we could dump it in our potion. Concentrating on the task at hand, I didn't realize that Malfoy hadn't even started on his task. 'Don't ever talk in my head again.' I whipped around to look at Malfoy.

"Is that what's gotten you all worked up?"

"Nobody's been able to talk in my mind since I was 5 and a half. And now a mudblood has. I feel contaminated. I can block out the dark lord but not a simple-minded mudblood! How did you even get inside my mind in the first place? Your blood has no magic! I wonder if you even have blood! Maybe it really is just mud flowing through your veins."

Fury overtook my body. I had no control over what happened next.

"I'm just a 'simple-minded mudblood,' am I? My blood is no different than yours!"

I picked my knife back up and winced as I made a cut down the palm of my hand. Malfoy seemed too engrossed with what I was doing to understand what was going to come next. The whole class was silent, watching what was going down at our table.

My hand found his and I laid it out flat on the tabletop. Then I proceeded to cut a line down his palm as well. Blood was flowing freely from both cuts; the one on my hand and the one on his.

"Look at the blood Malfoy! Do you see and difference?" I then rubbed my palm on his palm to mix the blood. Malfoy finally seemed to regain the use of his body and pulled back his arm in horror.

"How about now? Do you see a difference now? Look at my hand! Can you tell what blood is mine and what blood is yours? No, you can't! There is no difference." I looked around the whole classroom. "All of you, look at my hand. You all think I'm just a muggle; I'm just a tag-along, and I'm not actually good for anything. You think you're all better than me because you have power. No good person ever cared about power! Get over yourself!" With that said, I ran out of the room.

I heard Snape yell out "Detention!" before I managed to get out of the dungeons all together. Oh well. At least I had gotten my point across. Now it was up to them to decide how to deal with it.

Moaning Myrtle greeted me as I ran into the bathroom and slid down the far wall so that I sitting on the tile floor. The pain from the cut pulsed through my body, and I began to cry. People had been so cruel to me; I just didn't think I could do this anymore. Everyone here had magic, and I had nothing. I was an outsider.

I watched the blood on my hand run freely. Suddenly, I felt my body become lighter. Looking down, I realized that I was floating. And as suddenly as the light feeling came, it was gone. I was sitting on the floor, not feeling any different. There was no one else in the bathroom. What had just happened?

It had never occurred to me the some of Malfoy's blood might get into my veins. Some of Malfoy's _magical_ blood. Maybe I wasn't just a muggle anymore.

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REVIEW NOW OR DON'T READ ANYMORE CUZ I WANT MY REVIEWS

oooooooohhh.. I cant wait to write more on this.. I like the direction my story is going. If you don't like it then that's too bad. Review still though.

Homecoming is on Saturday and its gonna be so much fun. Im goin with ponta, sol, shea, jucel, sierra, and ty I guess. Ty and sierra are goin together, but ill be hanging out with them so yeah…

Other than homecoming, school sux. I had 7 hours of homework last night and im a freshman. It was horrible. O well, life moves on..

Im tryin to decide if I should have a short(like 1 chapter) fling with harry and then have it end so that holly ends up with Draco after a bad relationship… hmm..

O yeah.. in the detention, holly is going to have to try the truth serum because she skipped out on it during class. Malfoy is going to be running the detention.. hmm.. if u have any questions u want him to ask her, tell me, and maybe ill include them.. I said maybe tho. I just want some ideas.


	6. Questioning begins

Disclaimer: I own nothing that J.K. Rowling owns..

_Moaning Myrtle greeted me as I ran into the bathroom and slid down the far wall so that I sitting on the tile floor. The pain from the cut pulsed through my body, and I began to cry. People had been so cruel to me; I just didn't think I could do this anymore. Everyone here had magic, and I had nothing. I was an outsider._

_I watched the blood on my hand run freely. Suddenly, I felt my body become lighter. Looking down, I realized that I was floating. And as suddenly as the light feeling came, it was gone. I was sitting on the floor, not feeling any different. There was no one else in the bathroom. What had just happened?_

_It had never occurred to me the some of Malfoy's blood might get into my veins. Some of Malfoy's _magical_ blood. Maybe I wasn't just a muggle anymore._

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Malfoy found Holly in the bathroom after potions had ended because he needed to tell her about her detention. He would be running it, and Holly would be testing her truth potion because she had avoided that task by leaving class early. Holly was sitting against a wall, examining the cut on her hand. It was still bleeding, and it sparked occasionally.

She looked extremely worn out, and Malfoy didn't blame her. Tear marks ran down her face, but she looked strangely peaceful. After a while, she fell asleep and Malfoy stepped all the way into the bathroom. He didn't know why he hadn't interrupted her, but he hadn't, and now she was sleeping peacefully.

He couldn't bring himself to wake her up, so instead of delivering the message about the detention, like he was supposed to be doing, he carried her up to the seventh corridor, and to the room of requirement.

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I was running down a dark corridor. Someone was chasing after me. Stumbling, I ran on blindly through the blackness. The person was gaining on me, so I ran faster. There was an abrupt end of the corridor in far distance ahead of me. Except, this hallway end ended by opening up into the dark, night air. We were up seven stories, and I was going to end up running right out into thin air, and then falling to my death. But the figure was catching up with me. The wood floor in the hallways turned to sharp gravel beneath my bare feet, and the chilled air was giving me goose bumps.

"Holly, stop!" Said the figure desperately.

The gravel was tearing up the bottom of my feet, but I had to keep on running because I couldn't let whoever it was catch me. Night air was getting closer, and I knew that I was going to die. But the figure was gaining on me. I could feel their presence right behind me. Five yards until I died. Four yards. Two yards. Arms grabbed my waist and lifted me up at the last moment. I struggled against the person and begged them to let me go. I had to keep on running. I had to die. I wanted to get away from the one person preventing my death. They were trying to save me, and I hated them for it. Blood oozed from my feet, but I couldn't feel any physical pain.

The only pain I could feel was gripping at my heart. Way too much pain for me to face on my own was destroying me from the inside. Slowly, I gave up the struggle against my unnamed savior and hung limply in their arms. They reached a hand into their pocket and pulled out a wand. With a wave of the hand, a balcony formed at the end of the hallway and I was carried out into the night air. Finally I could see my rescuer's face.

It was Malfoy.

Normally, I would've been freaked out, but I knew that I couldn't fight him anymore because my feet were destroyed and I was weak. It was finally time for me to let everything out. I broke down. Tears streamed from my eyes and I screamed out into the night. My body shook with my sobs as I let everything that had happened to me out into the air. Malfoy said nothing and I was thankful. Breaths were coming with more difficultly now as I continued crying, but I didn't care. And as I cried, he held me tightly in his arms as if he were trying to protect me from the world.

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I woke up in an unfamiliar room, all alone. Startled, I headed for the door, stepped outside, and found myself in the dark, on the seventh floor. Dark. Seventh floor. Malfoy! My dream came back to me, I went back into the room, and I sat down shakily against the wall. Malfoy had saved me from ending my life? 'It was just a dream' I kept telling myself. But what if it wasn't just a dream, and it actually meant something.

Footsteps echoed outside the room and I tensed up, waiting to see if they would come into the mysterious room I was in. The door creaked open and Harry was looking in at me. Ever so slowly, he approached me, sat down, and took my hand. His fingers traced the cut on the palm of my hand, and I shuddered.

"What are you doing here Holly?" Harry asked tiredly.

"I don't know," I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"I just woke up here. I must've fallen asleep in the bathroom and been carried up here."

"Who would've carried you up here?"

"I have no idea, but I probably should be leaving now. What time is it?"

"It's four in the morning. The only reason I'm up is because I couldn't sleep and I always come here, to the room of requirement, when I need sleep."

Harry continued to talk, but I zoned him out and began to think about the dream. I had felt so safe in Malfoy's arms. I longed for that feeling again, but I would never admit that out loud, merely because it was the enemy's arms that I longed for.

After a while, I headed back to the dormitory so that I would be able to see exactly how much chaos I had caused the previous day.

When I got to the dormitory, everyone else was still asleep, so I climbed into bed and tried to snatch a couple more hours of sleep, but every time I shut my eyes, I saw Malfoy's face. And not the haunting face that I was so used to; the understanding, caring face that belonged to the person who had held me when I had needed it most. It was just a dream. But maybe it was something more.

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Two sleepless hours later, I gave up and began getting dressed. This process was made incredibly difficult because every time I bent my hand to pick something up, or grab something, the scabs cracked, and I made a mess. Finally, I got so frustrated, I went into the bathroom, planning to wrap up my hand with medical tape.

I laid my hand out on the counter and reached for the tape, but before I had grabbed the tape, my frustration seemed to expand away from my mind and reached out to my hand. The cut healed before my eyes, leaving a thin scar behind as the only proof of there ever being a cut there to begin with. All of the blood was gone; cleaned up as if there had never been a mess to begin with.

Amazed, I left the bathroom, and got dressed. Other girls were beginning to wake up, and they were all looking at me strangely, so I could tell that they had all been informed of the little show I had put on in potions. Hermione tried to talk to me, but I told her to just drop it because it was over and done with, and we all just needed to move on. I didn't tell anyone about the miraculous healing of my hand.

The day seemed to by like a dream because I was so tired. Everything was a blur, and I couldn't look at Malfoy. I had only made eye contact with him once that day, and it scared me because those grey eyes pierced into my mind again. He was the last person that I would want knowing about my dream, and my past, but he was also the most likely person to find out because he could read my thoughts and see my fears. There was no safe place to hide things in my mind, because he had the power to extract thoughts and memories from anywhere.

After dinner, his voice entered my mind. 'Meet me in the hallways outside the Great Hall. Now.' I freaked out. Did he know? Had he seen the things that I hid, even from myself? 'You're hiding things from me?' Well, if he hadn't been looking for my secrets earlier, he would be now. With a sigh of resignation, I stood up and headed towards the hallway Malfoy had told me to go to.

He was already standing there, leaning up against the wall with an air of arrogance that drove me crazy. I wondered what he wanted with me, but I didn't have long to wait to find out.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a slip or paper with writing on it.

"Professor Snape has given you detention every night for the rest of the week, including tonight. One night's detention because you skipped class, the second night's detention because you caused bodily harm to a student, the third night's detention because you left a giant mess behind, the fourth night's because you caused a scene and disrupted class, and the last night's detention because he feels the need to make sure you learned your lesson. Each detention will be lead by me because I volunteered to be the one to help you test all of Snape's truth serums. He didn't have time to have the students in class test each other's serums because you disrupted their learning process, so you will be testing all of them. I will be the one asking you questions. Let's go. We have 17 potions to test."

And with that, he swaggered away, leaving me there, standing open-mouthed. 'Are you coming, or do I have to levitate you to the dungeons?' I shook myself and followed him, dreading the outcome of this detention.

The dungeons were incredibly cold at night, and I wished that I had some way to be warmer. Suddenly, I was wearing a hoodie and sweats instead of my light robes. Once again, I had no idea how this bit of magic had occurred, but I wasn't going to complain, so I continued walking towards the dungeon I had seen Malfoy enter.

I entered apprehensively to find Malfoy sitting on the desk in the front of the room. He pointed to the line of potions to his left, so I grabbed a couple and sat at a desk facing him. Why did I get stuck with him? Why did he volunteer to give up his next five nights? Did he really want to torture me that badly?

"What are you wearing?" Asked Malfoy incredulously.

"It's a hoodie, dumbass."(A/N OMFG HAHAHAHAHA…. nvm… well ponta gets it..)

"Watch what you say, 'Cause you don't want to get me mad if I'm in control of your secrets." He had a good point. I didn't respond. "Well, what are you waiting for? Take the first potion already."

Slowly and carefully, I uncorked the bottle and poured it down my throat. It was flavorless, and I thanked the Lord for that, because I didn't want to have to drink 17 shitty tasting potions.

"These potions only last for seven questions, so I'll have to make them last." I groaned. Seven questions time seventeen potions was one hundred and nineteen questions too many.

"My first question; what is it that you fear?"

My heart raced as I tried to prevent an answer from coming out, but I could feel the potion working it's magic (A/N hah, that's kind of a pun I think..) and words came tumbling out of my mouth. I wasn't even given time to think about my answer, it just came automatically.

"I fear people finding out about my past."

"Second question; what don't you want people to know about your past?"

"I don't want people to know what he did or how life used to be for me. I don't want people to get a glimpse of that world."

"Why not?"

"It's too painful for me to have to think about, let alone have other people talk about."

"What did he do?"

"Terrible things."

"Like what?" Malfoy was obviously getting pissed that I was able to evade straight answers so easily. I was just happy that the potions weren't stronger, because I didn't want to give him real answers.

"Things that no one wants happening."

"What SPECIFIC things did _he_ do? And, is _he_ your father?"

Crap. There was no avoiding a straight answer with those questions.

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Sorry about the really long update. I've been a little depressed lately, when I've been home, so I haven't really gotten a chance to update. I think some of that depression might've seeped into this chapter, and the next chapter, but that depression helps this part of the story. She's going to be letting out her secrets to her enemy, and that's going to be incredibly hard for her. Oh yeah.. The dream symbolizes things that are going to happen between Holly and Draco.

**I want to thank all my friends who don't bug me about my depression, and the problems I'm having at home right now. I actually like school right now because we all get so hyper at school, and it's so much fun to just be weird and not care what the rest of the world thinks.**

**Props to Ponta for being able to call me, and be so hyper that she can get me hyper. Just over the phone. Heh. Oh yeah… Our highschool won the metros league thingy I think and is going to be playing Tigard on Friday. I hope we kick ass! **

**And, of course, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is coming out in two days! WHOOOOOT! I can not friggin wait! Jucel has been showing me all the clips from it off of so I've already seen bits and pieces of it. IT'S SOO FUNNNYYY!**


	7. Giving Up

Disclaimer: Anything that is not original belongs to J.K. Rowling 

Sorry bout the break.. but I'm back now

_"What did he do?"_

_"Terrible things."_

"Like what?" Malfoy was obviously getting pissed that I was able to evade straight answers so easily. I was just happy that the potions weren't stronger, because I didn't want to give him real answers.

_"Things that no one wants happening."_

_"What SPECIFIC things did _he_ do? And, is _he_ your father?"_

_Crap. There was no avoiding a straight answer with those questions._

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My mouth opened up and a jumble of words began to spill out. It was as if my brain was trying to answer both questions at the same time.

"He hurt the ugly bastard me and my mom abused me was once incredibly brutally married too and painfully. My mom he would finally took throw me action and against walls divorced him and beat now he me with lives in the states his fists. Sometimes he would I haven't come home drunk seen him with beer in two bottles in his hand years, break the bottles, and I don't plan and throw the on ever seeing pieces of him again glass at me."

Draco started at me dumbly. "Wait… What?"

But he had already asked me seven questions, so the potion had worn off. The effects of the potion weren't as bad as I thought they would be, and I was happy that nothing was answered quite right while I was under the influence. (A/N Ha! Sounds like she was drunk!)

I looked at the floor praying that Draco wouldn't be able to decipher what I had just told him. I doubted he would be able to, seeing as how _I_ could barely understand what I had just said.

Malfoy seemed thoroughly confused, but his confusion quickly turned to frustration at not being able to get a valuable answer out of me. I was really beginning to hate him. He seemed to be determined beyond all reason to ruin my life. What exactly did I do to him to make him hate me so much?

'You exist' came his answer. I spat at him and downed another potion. This one tasted different and I began to feel queasy. Clenching my stomach, I ran towards the outside hallway and the bathroom at the end of it, but Malfoy stopped me on my way out. Idiot. My stomach couldn't hold it's contents any longer and it all came out. All over Malfoy. I began to laugh. I laughed so hard tears started forming, and Malfoy just stood there in shock. Finally he came to his senses and used his wand to clean himself up. Then he took a potion and dumped it all over me. "Payback," he smirked. I glared at him and ran towards the doorway. He tried to grab me to stop me from leaving, but I dashed around him and made it out of the room.

I ran through the dungeons and up towards the Great Hall. Everyone had finished eating dinner and they had dispersed themselves throughout the castle burning the time until they had to be in the dormitories. I found Harry and with a flick of his wand the potion I had been drenched in disappeared. I thanked him and dragged myself up to my dormitory where I lay down and fell asleep.

That night I couldn't stay asleep. Around three in the morning, I finally gave up on getting any real sleep and I walked out on my balcony. In the distance I could see someone riding around on a broomstick. I loved to watch people flying. If only I could fly too! The freedom and the grace that came with flying were almost more than I could stand to see, because I knew that I would never be allowed to gain access to them. I had already asked Dumbledore but he told me that a person had to have magical blood in order to ride a broomstick.

So much for that thought.

As I watched the stranger on the broomstick, I realized that they were drawing closer to me. "What are you doing out here Holly?" Came Harry's voice across the air.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I. Do you want a ride?" It was as if he had been reading my thoughts.

"Really Harry? That would be so awesome!"

Harry swooped down and pulled me up on the broomstick behind him. At first I held onto him tight, but pretty soon I didn't have to hold on. It was absolutely amazing. The swooshing and the dives and the air stinging my face and adrenaline rush that came with it were better than I'd dreamed. But we couldn't stay out there forever.

The sun was just beginning to rise when Harry dropped me back off on my balcony, so I slid under my covers and feigned sleep until the girls around me began to get up a couple minutes later.

Tuesdays I had Herbology first thing, so I headed straight down to the green houses without even going to breakfast. I really didn't feel like facing everyone right then. I wanted to bask in the happy high that flying had left me with. An almost peaceful feeling had washed over me. But unfortunately it didn't last long.

The only other person who ever arrived at class early was Hermione, so not soon after I had arrived at the green houses, Hermione entered the glass building too.

An awkward silence filled the room because I still hadn't forgiven Hermione for being such a bitch to me and my sister.

"Look Holly, I'm sorry about not thinking before I did things and said things," Hermione began slowly.

I turned to look at her. "You're _sorry_. You're _sorry_! Well that will solve everything won't it? People say that you're the smartest and brightest student at this school, and if that's the truth, then I hate to see what the grade average is here. You have no right to think that you are at all superior to me and the rest of my family because you have absolutely no idea. None. Nada. You don't know what it's like. At least you have the magic. At least you can do something to change your situation. I'm stuck here with no way to help myself. No way to stand up for myself. I'm sick and tired of it. Right now I don't want apologies. I just want a way out of this life that I've been dealt!"

I walked outside and started wondering through all the beautiful gardens everywhere. Why was I always so mad at everyone? The answer to that was simple really. I was jealous. And I wasn't afraid to admit it. They had real friends, they had real power, they had real freedom, and I was stuck on the sidelines watching them enjoy it while my mother's death haunted my thoughts and Draco infected my mind with memories that I really didn't want to dredge up! Life had hadn't handed them a perfect life, but their lives were still a hell of a lot better than mine!

I was so lost. And it seemed like no one could help me. I hated being on my own.

Herbology passed without incident. We had that class with Hufflepuff and they never caused disruptions. Then we had history of magic with Ravenclaw. Harry kept watching me when he thought I wasn't looking. During lunch, I caught him staring at me four times and on the fourth time I got fed up. I blew up again.

"Why do you keep waatching me? I'm not friggin unstable so stop watching me as if I could blow up at any second! I'm fine so keep your damn eyes off me! I thought that you might actually understand me, but instead you're acting like you've been assigned to keep an eye one me! I don't need a stalker or secret service so why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't anyone just leave me alone?"

I was yelling by then because he really was infuriating me. Harry got up and walked over to where I was standing. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight until I stopped fighting him. The he whispered in me ear. "Holly, I really like you." My eyes opened in shock.

Pushing him away, I left the Great Hall in a sprint. Why did everything have to get so screwed up? I had thought that he was treating me like a basket case, but really the only person who understood me liked me as more than just a friend. Harry was going to be sorely disappointed because I really didn't want a relationship. That's the last thing I needed right then.

My thoughts continued to race around in my head and my legs continued to race through the hallways until I found myself stopped outside of Dumbledore's office. My legs carried me up a moving staircase and into a large room decorated with random contraptions and paintings of old grouchy people. Dumbledore was sitting in a chair behind his desk talking to a giant bird.

He looked up from the phoenix and noticed me standing in the middle of his office.

"Hello Holly. How can I help you?"

I tried to get words out, but the second I started to talk I felt the tears coming and I started crying. He was the first person to offer help! I had been at Hogwarts for over a month and not one person had offered me sincere help! The only help I had been given had ulterior motives behind it. Why did life have to get so screwed up?

"Professor, I don't think I can do it anymore. I can't keep going to class and seeing these people and their happiness and their naive ness. I've been stuck in a new place with no friends, no parents, no one to lean on, and a horrible past haunting me every step of the way! I give up. I want to quit."

"Okay."

"You don't get it! I can't do thi- wait. What? Okay? I can quit?"

"Yes. Okay. You can quit. Not permanently of course, because education is very important, but if you need a break, I think you should be allowed to take a month or two off. But this doesn't mean you aren't subject to regular school rules. You will still need to go to any detentions you earn. You can have the dormitory behind the painting of the fat vampire on the third floor. The password is 'licorice wands', but you can change it if you want to. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Yes! I mean no! Wait, what? I get a break and my own dormitory? Just like that?" I was gaping at Professor Dumbledore in shock. He nodded yes. "Thank you so much Professor!" I stood there dumbly for a couple seconds, still gaping, and then I managed to gather my wits, turn around and head back to the Great Hall with all thoughts of Harry completely forgotten.

When I reached the Great Hall I walked over to the Gryffindor table, sat down at my plate, and finished eating my lunch as if I had never left. The rest of the Gryffindors just stared at me. My dramatic exit, my inconspicuous re-entrance with tearstains and a giant smile, and then my sitting down calmly and finishing the rest of my half-eaten sandwich. I can't say I blame them for staring. But I really didn't care right then. I was free of them! I was finally going to have time to re-adjust my life! Not even Malfoy could get me down right then.

Finally I was going to have a chance to make my life better.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling do faithless

Lost under the surface

Don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure

Of walking in you're shoes

(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take

Is just another mistake

To you

(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there

I've become so tired

So much more aware

And becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you

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**REVIEW NOW OR FEEL THE WRATH OF CHELSI**

**Ok, I haven't updated in almost three months.. its been a while.. It took me a while to start writing again because I got really sick, missed finals, but when I got better I had kind of lost my whole train of thought for this story. Ponta finally threatened me into rereading and editing my story so that I could update it again. I've spent all week reading and rereading and editing all my chapters. I didn't change that much, but I had a lot of screwy grammar and spelling. I still do, but I think it fits better with my story now. And I will be working on this story daily again like I used to.**

**And now Ponta can't follow through with her threat, so I'm happy.**

**I think this chapter is kind of weird. She has magic now (that she doesn't really know about yet), she has her own dormitory all to herself, she has a month or two free, and the only time she's required to come into contact with other humans is when she goes to the rest of her detentions. Interesting. I don't know when I'm going post more stuff about her past.. Probably soon tho. **

**Yeah….. anyways.. umm.. we have stupid ACT testing tomorrow and next weekend I'm going to the beach for president's day weekend.. ITS NOT MY FAULT.. my parents are making me go while my friends stay behind and celebrate anniversaries and the end of a sports season.. I wish I didn't have to go to the beach.. it's a sucky beach too.. cuz its gunna be cold and probly rainy.. it always rains here.. but yeah..**


	8. Missing Muggle

Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns everything that she created and I own everything that I created. Simple as that

After I had finished my sandwich, I got up and left the Great Hall, but I quickly realized I wasn't alone. Harry was following me to my new dormitory.

"Holly?" I sighed and turned around.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I want to know why you ran from me when I told you I liked you!"

"Harry, you're my friend and nothing more than that. If you were more than that, my life would be too difficult. I can't deal with any kind of relationship right now, and even if I could, I wouldn't choose you because I just don't like you in that way."

"You're just afraid to go out with me and have something substantial in your life."

"What? No! I only like you in a strictly platonic way!"

"I don't believe you Holly. You're going to realize very soon that you have the same feelings for me that I have for you and when that happens I'll be ready and waiting. No one can turn me down because there's nothing to not like about me. I'm sweet, sensitive, handsome, athletic, intelligent, and wealthy. There's _nothing_ to not like about me."

"You pig-headed arrogant freak!" I screamed at Harry. I DON'T like you. I will NEVER like you. You might not even have me as a friend anymore if you continue to act like this! I thought you were different! Why do the people here have to make me so friggin pissed? You need to stay away from me until you can accept that I'm never going to like you in a romantic way."

"I'm not going to leave you alone Holly. I'm going to fight for you. Isn't that romantic? I'm going to get you to. You're not going to be able to fight back forever." Harry said with a creepy grin on his face. He started walking towards me and I bolted. I ran up the stairs all the way to the second floor, and Harry chased after me. There was an opening in the wall ahead of me that led to a balcony. I ran towards it and Harry continued to chase me. I remembered my dream from when the stranger chased me, saved my life, and made a balcony appear. This balcony looked exactly the same as the one from my dream.

When I reached the opening in the wall, I turned around and faced Harry defiantly.

"If you take one more step towards me, you will regret it."

"What could you possibly do to me that would be any worse than having my pride damaged by being turned down by the girl I'm meant to be with?"

I took a steadying breath and looked into his eyes with a cold, hard glare. Suddenly his feet flew backwards causing his body to fall forwards and his face to hit the floor with a deep thud. His feet continued to race away as if they were trying to escape his body and they pulled him until I could no longer see him. I let my breath out and ran up to the painting of the fat vampire on the third floor.

"Licorice Wands" I mumbled, out of breath and the painting swung forward allowing me to tumble inside and shut the painting behind me.

There was a couch in the middle of the room and I collapsed on it. I lay there for who know how long and I cried. I hated crying. It was my weakness. I had a hard time letting myself break down. And today I just seemed to keep breaking down.

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Draco sat in the Dungeon waiting for Holly to arrive for her second detention, but he was beginning to doubt she would ever show up. She had been missing from all of her afternoon classes, but the teachers didn't draw any attention to it. They acted as if nothing had happened. He was intrigued. He wanted to know what had happened to her, and since no one had told him that she was going to miss her detentions, he knew that she must be expected to complete the rest of them.

She was five minutes late. Ten minutes late. Finally getting impatient, Draco left the dungeons in search of her. He spotted Harry and the rest of the 'golden gang' as Draco liked to call them, sitting at a table in the Great Hall playing cards. He approached their table and called to them "Have you guys seen the muggle? She's late for her detention!"

Harry whipped around to glare at Malfoy, but Malfoy didn't care.

"No, we haven't seen her since lunch. Now get the hell away from us."

Malfoy didn't even bother to listen to whatever else they had to say. So Holly was missing and her friends didn't even know where she was. Maybe she ran away, he thought gleefully. But then his glee turned to disappointment, because he had found her incredibly intriguing. And no one ever intrigued him. Normally he could figure people out easy, but she was different.

He found himself walking the all-too-familiar path to Dumbledore's office. In his sex years at Hogwarts, he had been sent there all too often for one thing or another. Draco knocked on the door and it swung open for him. Cautiously, he stepped inside.

"I take it that Holly failed to show up for her detention?" Asked Dumbledore.

"Yeah. I don't recall her ever being excused from her detentions."

"She probably just forgot. Go to the painting of the fat vampire on the third floor and knock. And you are forbidden from telling any other students where to find her. Go on now. I have important matters to deal with."

Draco walked out of his office and down the spiral stairs. Up two floors, three turns to the left, and he found himself in front of the painting that Dumbledore had described. Tentatively, he reached his hand up and knocked.

No answer.

He knocked again.

Still no answer.

As he was about to knock for the third time, he heard movement coming from behind the painting and the painting swung forward, very nearly hitting him in the face. He peered around it to find himself facing a very sad, little muggle girl, and he felt sympathy. That was not an emotion he was used to feeling. The girl who had proved to everyone that she was more than just a muggle, more than just a girl, more than just a servant in this school of magic, had broken again. Her strength hadn't been able to help her, and now she was on the verge of being unfixable.

He glanced down at her hand and noticed that her cut was gone while the cut on his own hand was still there and still hurt like hell every time he tried to grip his broomstick. _Interesting_, he thought.

Looking back at her face, he wanted to scoop her up and hold her. He wanted to protect her from everything else. The feeling scared him, but what scared him even more was that he didn't hate the feeling.

Giving up any common sense that he had, he stooped over and entered the room behind the painting. Holly was about 5 inches shorter than him, so he looked down into her eyes and guided her into the main room. She sat down on a couch and he began to look around.

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I woke up to knocking on the painting, so I stumbled over and swung it open to find Malfoy standing there. Too tired to do much, I just stood there dumbly, waiting for him to say something. Finally he came inside and walked with me over to the couch. My legs gave out under me and I collapsed onto the couch again.

Malfoy seemed curious about our surroundings, and I realized that I hadn't even had a chance to look around yet. The walls were white with random stripes of red and gold, and there was a red brick fireplace on the far wall. One crimson-colored couch sat in front of the fireplace and on one side of the fireplace, stairs led to a hallway with two more doors. I couldn't tell where those doors led. On the other side of the fireplace was a doorway leading to another room. Malfoy disappeared through it, so I got up and followed him through. We were in a sort of kitchen. There were cupboards, a sink, an oven, and even a fridge. In the middle of the room there was a table with 3 chairs situated around it. I had a perfect little house built into a castle.

We left the kitchen and walked up the stairs, Malfoy looking around in amazement the whole time. And I didn't blame him. If I hadn't been so incredibly tired, my jaw would have dropped so low it would've hit the ground. Behind the first door was what I assumed to be the bedroom. A queen-sized bed was against the far back wall and an old mahogany dresser stood against the wall next to the door. One wall had a large bookcase stuffed full of books, and next to the bookcase was a work desk. All of my stuff had already been brought up and laid out where I would expect to find it. My sketchpad and my book bag were next to the desk and my clothes were either in the dresser or hung up in the closet next to the dresser.

The wall that my bed was against had a glass door built in that led outside to a balcony. On the balcony there were two chairs and a small table, along with a telescope.

I gasped and backed back inside in shock. This was too much. It was like heaven. Everything a person could possibly ever want was here and if it wasn't here, I had a feeling that there would be a way to secure it.

The next room was a bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi, a shower, and mirror/cabinets covering a whole wall. I _loved_ the bathroom. I had a friggin Jacuzzi!

The whole thing was so grand compared to the regular dorms, I was really dreading ever having to leave. Slowly I walked back downstairs and sat down on the couch once more, taking in all the details and trying to see everything. I had totally forgotten that Draco was still there, but he finally seemed to snap out of his trance and he broke the silence.

"You missed your detention."

"Like I give a damn about whether or not I miss a detention."

"Hey, I'll make you a deal. I won't tell Snape you missed the detention if you agree to let me hide out here sometimes when Pansy won't leave me alone."

"Sure, why not." Fatigue was taking over my body and I fell asleep on the couch again.

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After Holly fell asleep again, Draco just stood there watching her for about 10 minutes. Finally, he walked over to the painting and let himself out.

As he was walking through the hallways, heading to the Slytherin dorm, he ran into Harry again.

"Malfoy, did you find her?" Harry asked seemingly anxious.

"Yeah." Draco answered blatantly.

"Where is she? I can't find her anywhere!"

"Calm down Golden Boy. I'm sure that is you were supposed to know where she is, Dumbledore would've told you or she would've told you herself." Malfoy snickered and walked away.

Harry stood there fuming. He was going to find Holly. She couldn't hide from him forever.

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Ok, wow.. it took me all of two hours to type this up. That's pretty good for me. But it probably has a lot of mistakes in it, so don't be surprised if it gets edited soon. Yeah.. I kinda got into a fight with my mom, so I sat down, put on my head phones and just started typing.

**I won't get another chapter up for probably about a week cuz im goin to the beach this weekend even though it might snow and actually it might be longer than that because we're starting Spanish finals next week and I've got a HUGE project to work on that I'm not even close to finishing yet.**

**PS. Donnie Darko is NOT a crap movie. Just had to say that.**

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**ANYWAYS…….**


	9. Plans About Potions

Dislaimer: BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.. That's code for: jk rowling owns all of it, damn her.

I woke up on the couch where Malfoy had left me and I noticed two pieces of parchment resting on a coffee table in front of me. The first one was written in Dumbledore's loopy handwriting. It read:

Dear Ms. Brown,

We have decided that you will be allowed to take a break from school until after Christmas break. That should be sufficient time for you to get a handle on your life. During that time we may ask you for favors or assign you small tasks, but nothing big and not very often. I understand that part of your reason for needing a break is to avoid contact with other students, but that doesn't mean that you have free access to the castle after they are all asleep. You do have permission to be out to ten instead of 8:30 like the rest of the school. If you want another student to be helping you after 8:30, you must ask permission first. I am bending a lot of rules for you because you are coming from very special circumstances. Please do not betray my confidence. I hope you are able to find substantial things to do while you are on break.

Best of Luck

Headmaster Dumbledore

With a smile threatening to appear on my tired face, I put down the first letter and picked up the second letter.

Hey Brown,

Potter's been out looking for you constantly. He's scaring me more than he usually does. You might want to avoid him until he settles down. Dumbledore has forbidden me from telling him where you are. What the hell is going on with you anyways? Why have you been excused from all you classes? Why do you get your own dormitory?

P.S. don't miss another detention

So Harry was looking for me. I guess I would just have to become nocturnal. Then I remembered Harry's stupid map. He was going to be able to find me as soon as I left my new dormitory. I would have to find someway to get him away from the map so that I could take it before he found me. And he knew that I had to be at detention at 7:00. I decided that I should try to get Malfoy to agree to doing the whole detention thing at my dormitory so that Harry wouldn't be able to find me. I immediately got out parchment and ink of my own and scrawled a quick note to Malfoy. Now I had another problem. I had no owl to get the letter to Malfoy with. So much for that idea. I went out onto the balcony, hoping to see an owl I could persuade to come help me. There were none in sight.

"Shit." I muttered. I _needed_ an owl.

Suddenly an owl appeared and started flying towards me. Then another owl. And another. And one more. In all, there were eleven owls coming my way. Astonished, I reached out for the first one, tied my letter to it's ankle and told it to deliver the letter to Malfoy. The other owls sat on the rim of my balcony as if waiting for their chance to deliver a letter too.

Confused, I slowly backed back inside and went downstairs to get some food. In the kitchen I found a bag of bagels and pulled one out. As I pried the bagel halves from each other, I began to wonder what I was going to do for the next couple months. Maybe I would read, or draw, or just listen to music. But even just running these ideas through my head, made me realize that I really had nothing to do here. _Oh, I wish I could to magic, because then I could just teach myself spells and useful things like that! _ I shook my head angrily to rid my mind of that thought. I did not _want_ magic. My goal was to prove to them that muggles were just as good as wizards and how could I do that if that top of my list of wishes was to be just like them. No, I would prove to them that I could do fine without magic.

_Or maybe you could work on the parts of magic that don't require magical blood,_ the voice in the back of my head offered. That wouldn't be so bad. I could do potions without magic, and I could decipher ancient runes. Ancient Runes were pretty boring though, so I settled on potions. I would find an extremely difficult potion and master it. I sighed and sat down at a table, slowly tearing off parts of my bagel and putting them in my mouth. Well at least I had the start of a plan.

I checked my watch. It was only one in the afternoon, so I decided to start looking for complex potions worthy enough for me to attempt. There was a book case in my room as well as my potions book, so I headed back upstairs to start on the project that would occupy me for at least a little while.

Once in my room, I began skimming through the books on the bookcase. Finally, I found a title that looked promising. The Complete Encyclopedia of Potions; Expert Edition. There was also a Beginner's Edition and an Intermediate Edition, but I quickly looked past those and pulled out the large, dusty Expert Edition.

Excitedly, I skimmed through the pages, looking for something promising. There was Polyjuice Potion, but I didn't know what I would ever want that for, Veritaserum, but we everyone was going to be making that one in class, so it wouldn't be special, Amortentia, but I didn't _want_ anyone to fall in love with me, Drought of Living Death, but I didn't want to put anyone to sleep, Felix Felices, that one would be okay I guess. I bookmarked the page and kept going. After an hour of flipping through the thick encyclopedia I noticed an interesting potion title. Ingluvies Quidam Serum. This was one I'd never even heard of before. On the page there was a picture of something half animal, half person. Intruiged, I read on;

Ingluvies Quidam Serum 

Falco Aesalon discovered this potion in the early 14th century and he was the first person recorded to have ever tried it. He spent years of his life mixing and brewing until he finally stirred up this brew which gave him the ability to transform into an animal representing his personality, at will. In Mr. Aesalon's case, he was transformed into a falcon.

Many people have since completed this potion successfully, but under very close watch from the Ministry of Magic. If you do manage to complete this potion successfully, you are under legal obligation to inform the Ministry of Magic, as they do not wish unregistered people to creep around, hidden by their animal forms.

Today, we have a name for the people who have managed so complete the numerous complex steps below. They are called _Animagi. _(see **Animagus** in the glossary on pg. 1129)

The name _Ingluvies Quidam Serum_ is derived from old Latin; ingluvies meaning animal characteristics and quidam meaning a certain type of person or thing.

I skimmed down the rest of the page, but it was just more about other famous people who had lived the lives of Animagi. Being able to turn into an animal at will was almost like having magical powers, and I liked that idea. I wondered what type of animal I would be if the potion, as the book said, transformed people into the animal that best fit their personality. Finally, I turned the page and looked over the steps and ingredients. The potion would only take two weeks to brew, but it was incredibly difficult. Some of the ingredients I knew, but some I was unfamiliar with. Well, the would most likely be in Snape's storeroom and I could just go there after everyone else was in bed, because no one would be expecting me to steal supplies during my extended hours.

A loud knocking from outside the portrait woke me from my daydreams, and I got up to see who it was. Malfoy was standing outside glancing around as if to make sure no one was watching him. Grudgingly, I tapped him on the shoulder and he looked back towards the portrait and entered.

"Why do you want to meet here for Detention?" Malfoy asked, obviously annoyed by the inconvenience. I looked at him and bit my lip, not sure if I should tell him about Harry's map or not. Finally, I gave in and told Malfoy everything I knew about the Marauder's Map. When I finished, he was looking at me, wide-eyed.

"You mean to tell me that Potter has a map showing where every single person in this school is and what they're doing? And it shows secret passageways as well? No wonder Potter always manages to sneak around everywhere!"

"So can we have detention here, or not?" I asked, reminding him why he was here in the first place.

"Sure, alright, but if you tell me where the Gryffindor common room is and what the password is, I'll go get the map from Potter's room and then you can go to detention in the dungeons, like you're supposed to."

"I can't tell you that!" I said, exasperatedly.

"Fine. I guess you can stay locked up in your little common room, all alone, for the next couple months." He had a point.

"What's in it for you?" I asked him suspiciously.

"I get to keep the map." He replied quickly, with an excited grin on his face.

"You swear to me you won't do anything else while you're there and you won't tell anyone else what you know?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die." My heart practically stopped. Malfoy had just used a muggle saying without a second thought. And a really stupid one at that. _He must really want that map_, I thought.

Malfoy seemed to realize what he just said and a pink tint appeared on his cheeks. "You tell anyone I just said that, and you'll regret it." He said dangerously, reverting quickly back to his muggle-hating attitude. I laughed but nodded my head all the same.

Quickly, before I could change my mind, I told him how to get the Gryffindor common room and the current password. He grinned evilly and left, leaving me feeling uneasy, standing in the middle of my lonely dormitory. Oh, God, what had I done? I just hoped that whatever Malfoy did, he didn't hurt Lavender or Parvati. They were the only two people I cared enough about to worry about. Truthfully, I didn't care what he did to the rest of them as long as no one died.

Died. Death. Lavender. Mom. Everything started rushing at me and I felt the tears creep up on me again as I laid down on the couch. Voldemort. It was all Voldemort's fault. And they say that the Malfoy's are Voldemort's top followers. I bolted upright. What if Malfoy was already a death eater? What if he wanted to kill me? There wasn't much I could do, even if that was true. But then I asked myself, _Do I even care?_ No. I didn't care. He could kill me if he wanted and I didn't care. But that little voice in the back of my head started talking again. _Yes, you do care. If you die, you can't prove them wrong. You'll be proving that wizards are better because they have the power to take away life._ I wouldn't let him hurt me. And I would prove all of them wrong. I would become and Animagus and I would teach myself everything there was to know about magical societies. I would become even more powerful than the people born with magic in their blood. I would do it.

More knocking on the door woke me from my daydreams once again. I pushed open the portrait door to find Malfoy grinning and brandishing a piece of old parchment. Hurriedly, I dragged him inside and he sat down on the couch opposite me. He laid the parchment out on the coffee table between us and touched his wand to it.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." He said loud and clearly. Ink appeared where his wand was touching the paper and branched out in all directions, finally stopping when a detailed map of Hogwarts and all it's inhabitants was drawn out. Malfoy had a boyish grin on his face as he watched people move around and talk with other people. He found Harry in the Great Hall eating dinner and poked the name with his wand. He dragged the wand an inch or two and managed to drag Harry with it. "Haha! This is so cool!" They were a ways away from the Great Hall, but Holly could hear astonished yells coming from below and had to work hard to conceal her smile.

"I guess I'll see you in the dungeons at 7 then," I said, trying to get Malfoy to leave.

"It's 7:04, Brown. Besides, I thought you wanted your detenion to be here tonight." I sighed but nodded my head. I hadn't realized it had gotten that late already.

"Do you have the potions?"

"Yup." An evil smirk was forming on Malfoy's face. He pulled out 5 potions and lined them up on the table. We only have 5 nights left, including tonight, to get through 14 more potions. I figured we do extra tonight since you missed last night's detention." I glared at him. I wanted to knock that smug look right off his face, but that wasn't an option, so finally I consented, popped the top off one of the potions and downed it, readying myself for another night of questioning.

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**REVIEWS PLEASE!**

**Ok, I've decided to have her FINALLY tell some stuff about her dad. I actually have a bit of a plan in my head. WHOOOT! Normally I just sit down and type whatever comes out based on whatever mood I'm in. You might've noticed that she has kinda extreme mood swings. Sorry bout that. Heh. **

**Have you REVIEWED yet?**

**Oh yeah.. sorry about the long wait for the update, but we had finals, and then I kind of got addicted to making Hermione/Draco Music Videos for youtube(dot)com. That's always fun, but it takes HOURS. And I also didn't want to post this cuz one of my friends has been pestering me about updating for like the last two weeks and I wanted to make her mad. Hahaha.. sorry sierra. But I'm finally updating.**

**REVIEW ALREADY!**

**Oh yeah..  
LINKS;**

**www(dot)hp-lexicon(dot)org/**

**www(dot)sunsite(dot)ubc(dot)ca/LatinDictionary/**


	10. Car Accident

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of jk rowlings stuff.. there, happy?**

"I guess I'll see you in the dungeons at 7 then," I said, trying to get Malfoy to leave.

"It's 7:04, Brown. Besides, I thought you wanted your detenion to be here tonight." I sighed but nodded my head. I hadn't realized it had gotten that late already.

"Do you have the potions?"

"Yup." An evil smirk was forming on Malfoy's face. He pulled out 5 potions and lined them up on the table. We only have 5 nights left, including tonight, to get through 14 more potions. I figured we do extra tonight since you missed last night's detention." I glared at him. I wanted to knock that smug look right off his face, but that wasn't an option, so finally I consented, popped the top off one of the potions and downed it, readying myself for another night of questioning.

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"First question; Why is Potter trying to find you so desperately?"

I sighed a breath of relief. That was an easy question. "He likes me as more than a friend and is determined to make me like him back."

"Do you like him as more than a friend?"

"Hell no!" Malfoy smirked so I quickly corrected my statement. "I like him as a friend. He's an amazing person, but if he thinks I'm ever going to like him as more than that after what happened upstairs yesterday, he's sorely mistaken."

"What happened with Harry upstairs yesterday?" Inquired Malfoy curiously. I groaned and told him about what had happened the previous day.

"Whoa. Why do you think he flew backwards?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, biting my lip.

"Does Potter normally act that weird?"

"No." I felt the potion's affects wear off and I breathed in deeply. I only had to answer five questions that time. I guess that potion wasn't brewed correctly. Lavender's name was written on the empty bottle and I smirked. A small piece of hope inserted itself into my thoughts as I realized that not many people would've been able to complete the potion competently. The supposed seven questions per potion probably wouldn't apply to any of the potions except the one Hermione had brewed and the one Malfoy had brewed. And I had already taken Malfoy's potion. His was the first one I had tested.

Malfoy handed me another bottle and, gripping it tightly, I swallowed the coarse liquid with a shudder. When I pried my fingers away from the bottle I saw 'Granger' written on the glass.

Smirking when he saw my resentful reaction towards the name on the bottle, Malfoy started his next set of questions.

"How did your dad hurt you?"

I took in a sharp breath and then words began to pour from my mouth.

"My dad was an alcoholic and he used to drink constantly around the house. I always seemed to infuriate him with my presence, and if saw the smallest sign of imperfection or weakness in me, he would beat it out of me. I could never stop the tears, and they would just make him madder. Sometimes he would throw glass from his broken beer bottles at me. I never understood why he always went after me and never anyone else. Lavender barely even knew that something was wrong, and my mom never did anything to stop it.

"Over the years it just got worse until one night he picked me up and carried me, kicking and screaming, out to his car, and started speeding down the snowy road around 11 at night. I thought he was going to kill me, but I was too scared to move. Alcohol and cars don't mix, so my dad swerved down the road, meandering violently and throwing me against the door repetitively. Headlights were coming towards us, but my dad didn't seem to notice, and he hit the car head-on, causing both cars to spin off one side of the road and land about 10 feet down in a ditch. I remember I could barely move I was in so much shock. The airbags had burst open and there was smoke everywhere, mixing with the freezing air all around us. My dad wasn't hurt too badly by the accident, and in his drunken stupor, he climbed out of the car and started kicking the other car in a maddened frenzy, yelling at it for disrupting his drive. I slowly managed to pry open my door and I fell out into the snow, keeping my whole body down in fear that my dad would spot me. Little by little, I made my way over to the other car and tried to help the driver out. She was barely conscious, and there was a nasty cut on her forehead. Blood was everywhere, and it made me sick. Carefully, I helped her sit up, and after I'd made sure she didn't have any spinal injuries, I helped her out of the car. There were no phones, and it was too late for there to be any cars driving down the road. It was just my inebriated father, the poor girl from the victim car, and my own bruised and bleeding body.

"Glancing down at the girl in her late teens, laying on the ground in front of me, I realized that she wouldn't stay alive much longer if she didn't get help soon. Gathering up all my courage I stood up and faced my dad. I told him that he had better get ahold of himself right that instant or an innocent stranger would die that night. He was infuriated and advanced towards me, yelling at me for my apparent 'cheek.' I didn't care. I didn't want her to die because of my father's insane hatred for me, so I ran, making my father follow me stumbling. Finally, he collapsed into the snow while trying to follow me up the side of the ditch, and he didn't move anymore. I rushed back over to the body of the girl, but I could tell it was too late. She wasn't going to make it, and the only thing I could do was sit there holding her hand and trying to keep her warm. I cried and my tears froze on my cheeks. Eventually, death overtook her and I felt the last bit of warmth leave her hands. Screaming out of frustration, I ran back up the side of the ditch and sat down in the middle of the road hoping to get hit by a car so that I didn't have to face the newest addition to my father's record. If it hadn't been for me, if I hadn't always managed to infuriate my dad, if I hadn't made him hate me so much, if I had fought back when he threw me into his car, if I had forced him to stop driving, if- there were so many ifs. If it hadn't been for me, none of that would've happened.

"Back then, I believed it to be all my fault, but now I know otherwise. Still, I sat there truly believing that it had been my fault that an innocent person had died. I could remember every line on her face, every loose strand of her golden hair, and every wrinkle in her clothes. I could remember the life leaving her eyes as her skin grew cold. I could remember her ragged breathing, in and out in an irregular pattern, as if she was couldn't remember the proper way to drag air into her lungs. But most of all, I could remember the helpless air about her, when she realized she couldn't make her body respond to her pleas, and her strength had sapped out of her with the cold. She had placed all her trust in me. She had told me so with her eyes, and I had failed her. I remember the desperate look she had as the last bit of life left her body.

"And remembering, I cried and cried until, finally, someone reached out and touched me. Someone had driven by and seen me and stopped. They called an ambulance and everything went black. When I woke up, I was in a hospital room with my mom. I told her everything that had happened and a look of seriousness fell over her face. She finally plucked up the courage to stand up to my father and she divorced him. The last I saw of him was when he collapsed in the snow. I've refused to ever see him again."

I stared at the wall impassively, daring Malfoy to break the silence.

Finally, Malfoy asked another question. "What's an airbag?"

The unexpected question made me laugh darkly before I explained the workings of a car too him. Hermione's potion wouldn't let me evade questions like Malfoy's had. Instead, they made me answer more fully than I would've liked to. Damn her and her oversized brain.

"What happened to your dad after the accident?"

"He was taken to the hospital, and was arrested after my story got out, but he only spent two years behind bars, because he made a deal to give testimony about someone else if he could get early probation. I've been told that since then he's cleaned up his act and gotten over his addiction to booze, but I don't care what he does. I will never forgive him for what he did. Other than that, I really don't know what's happened to him over the years."

"What happened to you after that?"

"We moved to England, I went through therapy, and I recovered."

"Did your mom ever remarry?"

"No. She swore she wouldn't start dating again until I told her I was ready for another man in my life."

"How old were you when the accident happened?"

"13 years, 2 months, and 7 days. He got out of jail about 8 months ago."

"Do you think you'll ever see him again?"

"I hope not. I never plan on it anyways." The second potion wore off and cautiously, I reached for a third bottle to distract myself from the old memories flashing through my head. The bottle I'd grabbed was odd-colored, but I welcomed the possibly poisonous potion if it would get these memories to stop running through my head like an insane slideshow.

An odd feeling came over me, and it urged me to spit out all my feelings and emotions.

"Malfoy, you infuriate me and I hate how you always act like you're better than the rest of us!" Malfoy looked up in shock at my sudden outburst, but then, realizing that it was just the effects of a potion gone wrong, he resumed watching me cautiously. "Harry scares me now because I never now what he's going to do. Hermione pisses me off beyond belief with that bushy-head full of brains because she believes that she's always right and that it's impossible for anyone to prove her wrong. Dumbledore confuses me because he's so kind in this world of hateful and prejudiced magical beings. Lavender has her own friends, and I'm jealous that she's able to fit in so easily. I miss Kate too. I haven't seen her in over a month and she's perfectly content in her simple magic-free world. Then there's the you from my dream. You saved me and you were so gentle, so different from how I know you are." My main feelings about the seven people taking up most of my daily thoughts, spilled out.

I didn't really care if Malfoy found out about most of that, except for the part about the Malfoy from my dreams. I did my best to make my mouth stop moving, but to no avail.

Curiously, Malfoy stuffed another bottle into my open hand and waited impatiently for me to drink it all down.

Dreading the results, I swallowed and let the potion run into me.

"I was in your dream?"

"Yes." I responded shortly.

"When?"

"Right after I cut your hand."

"What was I doing?"

"Trying to stop me from destroying myself."

"How?"

"You stopped me from running on the rough gravel barefoot towards an opening in the wall that I was going to jump out of to end my life."

"Why?"

"How the hell should I know? Maybe you thought that you should be the only one to end my life! Maybe you needed me for something! Maybe you weren't finished terrorizing me yet!" I was yelling now. I needed to let out my anger towards him. It felt good, but as suddenly as it swelled up inside of me, it disappeared. "Maybe you actually cared," I whispered so that Malfoy couldn't hear me.

"What?" The potion wore off after 5 questions again, so I just looked at him blankly.

"Nothing."

Glaring, he handed me the fifth potion, which I drained slowly just to annoy him.

Something was obviously wrong with this potion, and I felt consciousness leave my body as my mind concentrated on my memories. The seven memories I visited the most flashed before my eyes and my mind was about to dive into the first one when I felt another presence inside my head. Malfoy had invaded my mind's privacy once again and I felt utter confusion as the potion tried to decide what to do with this new addition to my mind. Finally, the potion aimed itself at the new presence and I felt my mind get pulled into Malfoy's head and I saw flashes of seven alien memories inside his mind. And then I was pulled into the first one, with him along side me.

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**REVIEW NOW OR DIE.. haha jk, but seriously.. review already.**

**I just spent two hours typing this up. The car accident took about 800 words, which is good for me because it means I'm learning to STALL BETTER! WHOOOOOOO.. I gotta learn to stall for my lit and comp class cuz we gotta write these stupid 10-12 sentence single paragraph essay answers and they're almost all stalling… blegghhhh.. I hate homework, but I guess the writing isn't tooo bad**

**Ok, I was typin this up, and my friend ponta started IMing, and she was all like 'My family's going to Alaska for the whole summer' and I was all like 'awesome!' cuz I know that her parents have wanted to go back to Alaska for a long time, and she was born there. But then I was all like 'wait.. the WHOLE summer' dammmnnnnnggggg what would me and jucel do all summer then? Then shes like 'april fools!' and I was like waiiiiitttt.. its april 1st? cuz I guess I really haven't been paying attention**

**I love love love love love spring break.. Oregon has it a different week than most other states I think. Ive been painting my rooms harry potter colors.. one is Gryffindor and one is slytherin.. hahaha.. but the Gryffindor side kinda looks like my school colors so that I wont seem like such a dork.. im not a dork.. seriously**

**Sirius always says**: (9:40:36 PM)

chelsi...

**Sirius always says**: (9:40:40 PM)

APRIL FOOLS

**Sirius always says**:(9:40:46 PM)

hehehehe

**IM A NOT-COOL-PERSON WHO CARES says**: (9:40:47 PM)

hahahaha

**Sirius always says:** (9:40:48 PM)

DORK

**IM A NOT-COOL-PERSON WHO CARES says:** (9:40:49 PM)

wow

**IM A NOT-COOL-PERSON WHO CARES says:** (9:40:53 PM)

wait

**Sirius always says:** (9:40:57 PM)

whale penis

**IM A NOT-COOL-PERSON WHO CARES says:** (9:40:57 PM)

its april 1st?

**awwwwww the power of msn.. Sirius always is ponta and im the not cool person who cares cuz chris had banned me from saying loser.. hes such an idiot.. goooooooossshhhhh.. I wanna say loser.**


	11. Seven Memories

**Disclaimer: Same thing as previous chapters.. I'm too lazy to think up some new witty remark.. grrrrrr…**

_Glaring, he handed me the fifth potion, which I drained slowly just to annoy him._

_Something was obviously wrong with this potion, and I felt consciousness leave my body as my mind concentrated on my memories. The seven memories I visited the most flashed before my eyes and my mind was about to dive into the first one when I felt another presence inside my head. Malfoy had invaded my mind's privacy once again and I felt utter confusion as the potion tried to decide what to do with this new addition to my mind. Finally, the potion aimed itself at the new presence and I felt my mind get pulled into Malfoy's head and I saw flashes of seven alien memories inside his mind. And then I was pulled into the first one, with him along side me._

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I found myself standing next to Malfoy in the middle of a giant, grassy field. Malfoy was watching the sky, so following his gaze, I looked up as well. A young boy looking to be around six years old was grasping onto a broomstick uncertainly, as if this was his first time flying. Suddenly, a grin broke across his face that had previously been contorted with concentration, and he relaxed on the broom, letting the wind drag him around lazily. With a whoop of joy, he leaned forward and dived towards the ground, pulling out about fifteen feet above the ground and them zooming onwards in a series of noncomplex spins and turns. I couldn't help but smile at the look of pure ecstasy on the young blonde boy I had realized must be a younger version of the Malfoy standing next to her.

Everything began to blur and spin around the two of us standing there until nothing was recognizable as more than a streak of color in a whirlwind. When everything stopped spinning, I spotted the Malfoy from this memory. He looked a little bit older than in the previous memory, but not by much. We were standing in, what appeared to be, dungeons. A tall lanky figure loomed out of the darkness and the younger Malfoy looked up at his father curiously.

"Are you ready, Draco?"

"Ready for what?"

"Ready to see my noble work?"

Draco nodded his head nervously, a look of fear crossing his face. I felt the older Draco tense next to me, and a feeling of foreboding came over me. Lucius Malfoy led Draco down the stone hallway to a dark cell at the end. The young Draco gasped, horrified, when he saw whatever it was in the cell before him. Lucius gave a grim laugh at his son's reaction and opened the cell door.

Curiously, I stepped forward to see whatever it was that Malfoy senior had shown Malfoy junior, but as I began to move forward, the real Draco stepped in front of me, attempting to stop me. "Don't!" He pleaded. I ignored him and kept on walking. The wonderful thing about being inside of a memory was that I could pass through things like a ghost, not truly touching them and not moving them either. So I continued forwards, walking straight through Draco's body, and towards the cell at the end of the hallway. Draco trailed behind me, but I could tell he really didn't want to be here. When I reached the cell at last, I found out why.

Inside were three humans. A father figure was holding on tightly to what I assumed to be his wife and his daughter. He glared up at Lucius and said. "Let us go! We don't have anything you might want, and if you don't let us free, the police are going to catch you and you will spend the rest of your demonic life in prison!" _He's a muggle!_ I thought, realization dawning on me, and I tried to back away in my horror. My feet had different plans though, and they remained rooted firmly to the floor. Lucius walked forward with indignation and raised his wand.

"Crucio!" I saw the man on the floor writhe in pain and I wanted to scream and run. _Malfoy Senior is going to kill them!_ I thought panicking. _And he's going to do it in front of his son!_ This was just another wizard proving that because he had magic, he was superior to my race. I wished I could do something to stop it, but this was a memory, so it had already happened and there was nothing I could do. Lucius lowered his wand and the man lay panting on the floor, pale and sweaty. The two females were crying in the far back corner.

"Draco, I want you to watch what happens to muggle filth. You need to see what we, as Malfoys, stand for, so that one day you can continue the legacy and pass the knowledge and tradition down to your own son. Draco looked up at his father with a confused look on his face, not sure whether this was real or if his father was just jesting with him. A wave if sympathy crashed over me as she saw young Draco's features harden as he turned to look back into the cell. He was so young, so innocent, yet he was facing so much.

Lucius raised his hand one more time and uttered "Avada Kedavra!" A flash of green light and the man was still, all life gone from his eyes. Turning on the two females clutching each other in the back corner, he uttered the curse twice more and smiled with maddened glee as their bodies slumped to the ground.

Draco looked up to meet his father's eyes and asked quietly, "Why?"

"Why, what?" Lucius asked dangerously.

"Why did you have to hurt them? They didn't do anything to you!"

With utter shock, an irate Lucius turned on his own son and shouted, "Crucio! How dare you question my actions! I am your father!" He left the curse going a little bit longer, but finally lowered his wand and said, "Remember that next time you choose to act disrespectfully." And with a swish of this black cloak, he turned and stormed down the hall, leaving a weak, crying boy lying helplessly on the ground behind him.

I walked towards the boy and crouched down beside him, running my hand through his hair, even though it did not ruffle as my hand went straight through. He looked up suspiciously as if expecting to see another person in the dungeon with him, wiping his tears as he did so. I was about to reach down again when everything started spinning once more. Turning, I walked back over to the real Draco and waited for the world to become still again.

When it did, we were standing in a courtyard, 11-year old Draco seated on a bench with his father sitting across from him, quizzing him on his Latin. Suddenly, Lucius whipped forward and thwacked Draco with his cane. "Get it right or I'll do it again!" Draco continued stumbling over various words and was rewarded with four more thwacks. Finally, Narcissa Malfoy came forwards timidly.

"Maybe you should be easier on him, Lucius." She whispered almost inaudibly.

"What was that?" Lucius asked, not bothering to hide the anger in his voice.

"Nothing," she said quickly, trying to sink back into the shadows.

"No! Out with it woman! What did you just say?"

"I only thought that maybe you should be a little gentler on Draco because he'll being going to Hogwarts in two days and then you won't see him again until Christmas."

"You forget your place," he responded coldly. "_I_ decide how to discipline my children, not you! Get out of here now!" Narcissa quickly turned and fled and then, after a few seconds of obvious internal debate, Lucius turned and stormed after her. Young Draco watched them pass by windows as Narcissa ran up a flight of stairs and Lucius followed. Finally, it seemed Narcissa had reached a dead end and she cowered down in front of her husband.

The silhouetted form of Lucius raised his wand and uttered an inaudible word causing the figure in front of him to convulse with pain and scream as the curse ripple through her body. The thick, stone walls muffled her screams, but Draco could still hear them all the way across the courtyard. They led him to slide down into the dirt, cover his ears with his hands, and slam his eyes shut, scrunching up his whole face as he did so. He remained like that for several minutes, not daring to look up to see if his father was done.

Eventually, Lucius stopped and headed back outside, walking towards the boy on the ground, thwacking his shoulder, to get him to open his eyes, and continuing the lesson as if nothing had happened.

I stared in disbelief at the heartless nature of the man before me. I wanted to hurt him; I wanted to make him pay for all the pain he'd caused others.

I never got the chance as everything swirled once more. When everything had settled down once more, I found myself staring at a 13 year old Draco, sitting on a couch in what appeared to be the Slytherin common room. It was dark out and a clock on the wall showed the time to be a little after two in the morning. No one else was up and Draco was staring intently into the fireplace, lost in thought. Suddenly a flame surged up and Draco grinned. The fire began to dance and form shapes as it snaked out of the fireplace towards the blonde boy. He held out his hands and the fire condensed and rested on his hand obediently.

_Malfoy was a fire-tamer!_ That realization caused me to stare at the Malfoy beside me with disbelief, but Malfoy was too consumed with watching his younger self and reliving the bitter happiness to notice. The fire didn't even burn young Draco as he played with it like a toddler plays with a toy. It wound around him, not even slightly scorching his pale skin or his blonde hair, and he watched it with a slight smile. The rest of his face was still hardened, not allowing himself to remove the mask that he had been forced to develop, even in the empty room.

Draco let go of the fire and it went out, leaving him sitting all alone in the dark. Eventually, he stood up and walked up a flight of stairs, but I knew that I wasn't mean to follow because the colors around me became a blur once more.

It was cold and dank, random screams pierced the air around us, and it reeked of masses of the world's least hygienic citizens. Narcissa was walking through the hallways, half-supported by a 15-year old Draco. Floating black-cloaked beings escorted the two people, and I was thankful that dementors didn't affect people visiting memories. When the party finally stopped, I started forward, Malfoy dragging behind reluctantly.

We were standing in front of a cell. Sitting on a dirty cot, still managing to look as arrogant as ever, was Lucius Malfoy. Fifteen-year old Draco strode up to the cell and looked his father in the eyes.

"See where the Dark Lord has gotten you? In a bloody cell in Azkaban! This is what happens when Malfoys become followers! I used to look up to you, but not anymore. You're weak. You're worthless. You're not my father." Draco spat at his father's feet and turned around, storming out the prison. Lucius watched him go with a flicker of regret in his eyes. He turned to Narcissa.

"In time he'll come to respect the Dark Lord. He should be getting his mark soon now, and he has to be capable of loyalty or else the Dark Lord will kill him." Narcissa nodded helplessly, a tear rolling down her cheek, and then she too turned away and headed out of the prison. Under her breath she whispered. "I miss you Lucius."

"I miss you too." Came his reply, just as silently as her first remark. He pushed himself backwards on his cot so that he was leaning against the wall and he suddenly appeared much older than I knew him to be. Haggard lines emerged on his face, and he gained the look of a man lost in an ocean of thoughts, memories, and regrets.

I turned back to the 15-year-old Draco and watched as he smirked unsympathetically as he helped Narcissa back out of the wizarding prison.

The scenery changed again, and this time we were standing inside a large dining hall inside of an even larger mansion. This memory was probably only a couple months ago, maybe near the end of summer judging by the sticky warmth the open windows let in. Blaise Zabini was standing next to Draco, and they were both wearing solemn looks. Before them sat an older man, probably Zabini's father. The older man unfolded a piece of parchment and began to read aloud.

"Misters Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy have been requested to come before the Dark Lord before they return to Hogwarts, so that they may receive their Dark Marks and join ranks with all the faithful Death Eaters before them. Should they choose to accept this request, send a reply telling us so and a group of Death Eaters will be sent to accompany them to my chambers where the ceremony will begin. Should they deny the request, send a reply telling us so and a group of Death Eaters will be sent to accompany them to my chambers where the ceremony will begin anyways. The Dark Lord expresses his hope that the two young misters will make the right decision so that no harm befalls anyone." He laid the parchment out on the table before him and raised his eyes to the level of the teenagers before him. "What should I say your responses are?"

Zabini and Draco glanced at each other and finally Draco spoke. "What choice do we have?"

The old man smiled grimly. "You're making the right choice."

Doubt rippled across their flawless faces as they left the room and entered a bedroom. Zabini got down on his hands and knees and pulled a crate of fire whiskey out from under his bed. Handing one bottle to Draco and taking another bottle for himself, he stood up and locked his bedroom door. Then he went over to the window, unlatched it, and climbed out, a floating trunk following. Draco followed suit. I walked straight though the wall with the window and Malfoy followed me.

They ran stumbling across a perfect lawn and into a dense forest, their trunks bumping into each other behind them. We followed them into the forest and after a couple minutes, we reached a small, one-room hut that blended in so well with the thick trees around, I wouldn't have noticed it if it the two boys hadn't suddenly walked inside. On one side of the hut there was a fireplace. The rest of the hut was empty. Zabini lit a fire in the fireplace, grabbed a handful of colorful powder, threw the powder in the fire, and shouted "The Leaky Cauldron!" With a flash, he was gone.

Next thing I knew, Draco was shouting too, and suddenly Malfoy and I were with Zabini and Draco in the Leaky Cauldron. The two boys deactivated the spell causing their trunks to hover and pulled their trunks behind them as they left the musty pub and entered London.

As they trudged down the sidewalk, people stared at their strange attire, and I couldn't really blame them. Cloak-wearing, dirt-covered, tired teenage boys dragging trunks down a crowded area of London isn't a usual sight to see. Two blocks down the street, they entered a hotel and rented a room. Once in the room, Zabini laid his trunk down next to the bed and Draco laid his down next to the couch. Immediately they opened their bottles of firewhiskey and took several long drinks.

"They'll never come to get us here," Zabini said finally.

"Yeah. They won't brave muggle London unless their planning on starting a war. I wonder how father will react when he finds out what I've done." Draco smirked and lay back on the couch.

"I'm sure he'll be beyond pleased to find out that his only son has run off with another potential death eater and is staying in the midst of the oh-so-hated muggles." They both chuckled darkly. "What will do when we have to face them again?"

"I'm going to wait to worry about that until later. If worst comes to worst, then I can always start a fire to help us get away." He took another swig of firewhiskey.

"Works for me," Zabini replied, draining his bottle and promptly passing out on the bed. Draco emptied his bottle as well and he closed his eyes, allowing the ever-insistent sleep to overtake his tired body.

The spinning started and stopped one final time as Draco's seventh most-visited memory appeared all around me. I gasped and stumbled backwards.

On the tiled floor in front me was, well, it was _me_! My face was tear-stained and blood was running from a wound on my hand. _This must've been right after I cut our hands and mixed our blood_, I realized. Draco stood in the bathroom's entrance for several long minutes before he finally entered to pick up my sleeping form. I gaped in amazement as I followed him up several flights of stairs. Eventually, he came to the door he wanted and it swung forward to reveal the same room that I had woken up in the next morning. _Malfoy was the one who had carried me up there! What? Why _Malfoy_! It just doesn't make sense!_ Carefully, he lowered my body onto the bed and left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

I whipped around to face the Malfoy following me into his memories. "It was you! What the hell did you do that for? You are insane!"

He looked at me in a mix of embarrassment and anger. "I helped you and you're _mad_ at me? If that's all the thanks I get, then that's the last time I ever try to be at least somewhat considerate of other people!"

I was about to retaliate when everything swirled again and I was back in my common room. Nausea swept over me as my mind returned to the present time, and by the time I was stable again, Malfoy had already stormed out. I glared after him. It's not like it mattered to me anyways. I had more important things to do. Like make an Ingluvies Quidam Serum so that I could become an animagus. Grumpily, I stomped back upstairs and continued to read up on the potion.

But I couldn't concentrate. No matter how hard I tried to block them from my mind, bits and pieces of Malfoy's memories kept drifting around in my head. Him on a broom. Him getting tortured for standing up for the muggle family. Him being forced to watch his father abuse his mother. Him playing with fire. Him visiting his father in Azkaban. Him running away with Zabini. Him carrying me when I was asleep.

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**ok, this took FOREVER for me to finish cuz**

**It's seven separate memories. It tooke 3,255 words to write it all out**

**Spring Break was in there somewhere, and I kinda spent the whole time painting the two parts of my room Gryffindor and Slytherin colors. Hahaha.. I meannnn……. Ummmm.. _School_ colors. Cuz red and gold are my _school_ colors. O shut up and stop laffing…**

**After the eleven days of painting the two rooms with intricate designs that had to be perfectly measured and blah blah blah, I started reading fruits basket. Which is this manga thing that I'm totally in love with now.. im on book 15 already and I only started reading the series like 4 days ago.. o yeah.. spring break was the last week of march/first week of april for us cuz we're Oregonians. P… **

**EASTER.. was incredibly boring but I got chocolate so I'm happy..**

**I like excuses.. they make me feel better about myself.. hahaha.. wow..ok, so ANYWAYS, I saw scary movie 4 yesterday and it was realllllly funny.. just thought I should tell u that.. I wanna see take the lead really badly now too.**

**O yeah.. in world history today, Ms. Meuwissen (my lit and comp teacher) started up on another rant about the horrors of headphones and ipods and damaged hearing and all that, and Mr. Bickler (my World History teacher, cuz it was WORLD HISTORY CLASS) butt in and started talking about his the rock concerts he used to go to when he was in high school, and we cracked up so badly.**

**The thing u gotta understand about bick is that he's only like 28, so high school was only like 10 years ago for him. He's this total football/wrestling jock guy with a decent build. But he has absolutely NO emotion. The most emotion he's ever shown would be "I'm disappointed in you for leaving a mess in the library yesterday," with a total straight face and not even a sign of anger. Or "I'm glad that you managed to do such a good job on your paper." With the same exact face that he used to say he was disappointed. So now he's all talking about rock concerts and I got this TOTAL mental image of him in a mosh pit, jumping up and down, moving his arms, or waving a candle, and I must admit, I TOTALLY cracked… I couldn't breath properly for like half an hour. Imagine this totally serious muscular guy jumping up and down in a mosh pit and _smiling_. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.. now im laffing again…. Itss just soooo dammnn funnnyy.. ahhhhhhhhhhhh!**

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	12. Screw My Brain

**Disclaimer: Aggg.. im too lazy to write it.. check previous chapters..**

But I couldn't concentrate. No matter how hard I tried to block them from my mind, bits and pieces of Malfoy's memories kept drifting around in my head. Him on a broom. Him getting tortured for standing up for the muggle family. Him being forced to watch his father abuse his mother. Him playing with fire. Him visiting his father in Azkaban. Him running away with Zabini. Him carrying me when I was asleep.

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I sat on my bed with the potions book open on my lap. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate, I just couldn't. I desperately needed something to get my mind off of Malfoy's memories. Glancing back at the page before me, the ingredients list caught my eye, so I decided to give a visit to Snape's storerooms. Quickly, I snapped the book shut and ran down the stairs. Still running, I sped through the entrance and down the hallway towards the dungeons. I'm not exactly sure why, but running just felt so good; like if I ran fast enough all my troubles would be left in the dust.

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Draco hurried through the dungeons towards the hidden Slytherin common room entrance. He couldn't force thoughts of Holly from him head. She had gotten inside his mind, even if it was by accident, and now he felt exposed. He didn't like the feeling. Finally stopping, he slumped against a wall and took a breath. _She's seen. She's seen it all. Damn it! Why did that have to happen? No one is supposed to be able to get inside my head, not even the Dark Lord himself, yet a potion-gone-wrong and a simple muggle girl can._ He banged his head backwards against the stone wall behind him and winced as he felt his head make contact with more force than he'd expected. _Why is she _mad_ at me for carrying her up to the Room of Requirement? There's something weird about her. I want to know what makes her tick. There's something more – I want more than just to _know_, I want to help it continue to tick. Wait, what? I thin – _

A quiet pounding on a door not too far away distracted Draco from his thoughts and he slowly stood up to investigate. Trying to force open Snape's storeroom's door, was Holly.

"What are you doing?" Draco drawled. Holly whipped around and immediately their eyes met.

"Nothing." She said, not even trying to coat her voice with innocence.

"Right. You're in the dungeons late at night trying to break into the storerooms and you seriously want me to believe that you're not up to anything?"

Holly sighed. "Fine, I'm trying to get into the storerooms."

"I can see that," Draco said impatiently, "But _WHY_?"

"None of your business."

"If you seriously plan on getting in there, you're going to need my help because that door is locked with magic. Tell me why you need supplies and I'll open the door for you."

Holly looked at him suspiciously. "I'm making a potion."

"Thank you captain-obvious!" Draco yelled, getting frustrated. It was absolutely impossible to get a straight-answer out of this girl. "Fine, if you won't tell me, then what are you going to do to get me to open that door for you?"

Holly stared at him blankly.

It was Draco's turn to sigh. "You know, give me dirt on Harry or agree to do my homework or embarrass yourself in public, or something like that!" Holly continued to stare at him blankly.

"I.. Umm.. mmm.." She mumbled, trying to think of something. It was so late and it had been a really long day. Draco fought back the urge to laugh as he watched her stumble over her words as she tried to gather her thoughts. Impulsively, he approached Holly and gently lifted her chin, and before he knew what he was doing, he kissed her.

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Malfoy's fingers gently lifted up my chin and he brought his mouth down onto mine. I tried to fight back, but I found that I couldn't. My body wouldn't listen to my brain, and I found myself kissing Malfoy back. My hands quickly found their way to the hair on the back of Malfoy's head, and he pushed me against the dungeon wall, not bothering to be gentle anymore. _Stop this atrocity_! My brain screamed at me after a couple minutes. _Screw my brain._ But unfortunately my brain summoned enough strength to overpower my body and I pushed Malfoy back.

"Holly?" He whispered. I smirked inwardly at his ruffled blonde hair. (A/N that was for you, Ponta. Hehe. MAKEOUT HAIR!)

I felt shivers travel up my spine. Good shivers. _Holly._ I liked how he said my name. He'd never called me by my first name before.

"This isn't right." I whispered back.

"Screw what's right!" He whispered fiercely. He bent down to kiss me again, but I ducked my head and moved back over to the storeroom door.

He followed me and whispered a spell to open the door. I turned to thank him again, but he was already gone. Doing my best to push him out of my head, I turned and entered the storerooms. My life was so damn confusing.

Several minutes later, I exited the room with a bundle of potions ingredients under my arm. I hurried up to my dorm and set up a cauldron on the stove in the kitchen. Setting hot water to boil, I rushed upstairs to grab my book. The instructions for the set up of the potion would take me all night and I was glad for the distraction. If I didn't think about it, maybe I could make myself believe that it never actually happened. It was worth a shot anyways.

After about four hours of working on the potion, I was done with the set-up. For the next week, all I needed to do was stir it twice every twenty-four hours. Groaning with exhaustion, I trudged up the stairs, changed into sweats and a cami, and collapsed on my bed. A new thought entered my head. I should become nocturnal.

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Draco stumbled into the Slytherin dorm, still confused about what had just happened. Sitting down on one of the dark green couches in the empty common room, he pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit a flame. The flame danced and twirled around his body majestically, as he tried to figure out why he had kissed Holly. She had just been standing there acting so out of it and tired, so absolutely pathetic, and he had just _kissed_ her. If his father found out, he would be punished severely, and Draco shuddered even thinking about it. After he and Blaise Zabini had run away instead of getting initiated into the Death Eater ranks, his father had sent people out everywhere to find him and eventually one of them had caught onto his trail. The night before school started up again, Draco had returned to his room to find his father there, and his father was not happy. Malfoy Senior had placed silencing charms on the room and tortured Draco for five hours straight, after which Draco had passed out. He had woken up floating behind his father on the way back to the manor and had disapperated before his father realized that he was awake.

The flames tickled Draco's skin as they encircled his body gently, and he sat still, deep in thought. Eventually he stood up and headed up to his bed, but he didn't bother to put out the flame and it followed him up the stairs. As he was changing, the fire accentuated the scars, cuts and bruises still prominent on his pale skin. The blemishes were nothing new to him so he didn't give them a second glance as he finished changing and laid down on top of his bed, the flame resting on top of him to keep him warm.

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I woke up the next day around 3 in the afternoon. It really wouldn't be all that hard to shift my sleeping patterns so that I became nocturnal. Not bothering to change out of my pajamas, I headed down the stairs to stir the potion and get some breakfast. Everyone else would still be in class, so it was safe to visit the kitchens.

Groggily, I walked out of my dorm and down a flight of stairs. As I passed the transfigurations classroom, I glanced inside and groaned. Inside, the Gryffindors and Slytherins were having class, and at the sound of shuffling bare feet traveling through the hallway, everyone turned around. Immediately Malfoy caught my eyes, but I looked away quickly and settled on Harry. His eyes were burning with an insane rage, and I shrunk back for a second. White knuckles from clenching the back of his chair caught my attention and I fled before he made any move to get up and head towards me. In the distance I could hear him asking McGonagall if he could go to the bathroom, and I ran faster. Ducking behind a suit of armor, I heard fast footsteps approach.

"Holly, I know you're here somewhere. Come out here and talk to me. I just want to talk. Are you scared? You don't need to be, I just want to talk about the other day. You can't just avoid me for the rest of your life." His footsteps were getting closer.

"Come one Holly, I miss you, we all miss you, why did you just leave us like that! It wasn't very nice!" His footsteps were right in front of me now

"It was smart of you to take my map so that I couldn't trace you, but now I can tell Dumbledore that you've been stealing. I don't think he'll be too happy to find out that the girl's he's protecting has been stealing from innocent people." I could see him clearly now. If he turned his head to the right just a little bit more, he would see me. My breath caught as I tried my best not to make any movement.

"Mr. Potter! What are you doing wondering the hallways when you're supposed to be in my class? I said you could go to the bathroom, not talk to yourself as you meander around! Get back in here!"

Harry whipped around and caught my eyes. My heart skipped a beat as his eyes left mine and he trekked back to class stiffly. Letting out the breath I'd been holding, I came out from behind my hiding place and ran the rest of the way to the kitchens.

When I finally did reach the kitchens, I loaded myself with food and got three house elves to carry food as well. I'd decided to stock my kitchen so that I wouldn't have to make several visits to the main kitchens every day. It was just such a nuisance. Thinking about all the precautions I was taking, I realized that I was becoming a hermit. Oh well. After my potion was finished, I resolved, I'd leave my dorm more and make new friends, but for the time being, I wanted to be a hermit.

The rest of the afternoon was spent reading books about various aspects of the wizarding world. I was determined to become an equal to those around me, no matter how boring or tedious the process might seem. At my old school I had gotten decent grades, so I was quick to pick up on the things I was reading about.

Seven came. And went. Malfoy was late, but I wasn't about to complain. I didn't really want to see him after what had happened the day before. At around seven-thirty I finally heard a knocking on the portrait. Uncurling myself from my seat on the couch, I got up and let him in. To my surprise, Dumbledore was there too. I ushered them both in quickly and shut the portrait behind them(A/N for some reason that just sounds funny to me. I shut the portrait behind them. Hahahaha.. wow… im reallllly tired). Malfoy immediately laid himself out on my crimson couch like the lazy bum that he was. Dumbledore watched him, an amused twinkle in his eyes, and began to talk.

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**By the way.. new myspace:**

** wow.. I had written a lot more, but its soo long that im splittin it up and posting it anyways.. but that doesn't mean that u don't have to review.. I only got one review last chapter.. tear tear im not posting the next one unless I get at least five reviews! I want my reviews!**

**So.. yesterday in class this one guy tried to steal my cell phone and I like totally bit his finger.. it was instinct.. wow.. its like im makin sure guys never take advantage of me again.. but like subconsciously.. its really weird, but kinda funny I guess.. hmmmmmm… im not a cannibal I swear… I spent the next five minutes scraping my teeth with my fingernails and then I stole gum from alex.**

**On a completely different subject, I have this friend whose like UBER annoying and she complains about everything and is the total drama queen and I don't know how to get her to just TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE ALREADY.. and I cant just ditch her cuz I feel bad. Aggg… o well.. that's life I guess…**

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**NOW**


	13. And the Vases Go Flying

_Seven came. And went. Malfoy was late, but I wasn't about to complain. I didn't really want to see him after what had happened the day before. At around seven-thirty I finally heard a knocking on the portrait. Uncurling myself from my seat on the couch, I got up and let him in. To my surprise, Dumbledore was there too. I ushered them both in quickly and shut the portrait behind them(A/N for some reason that just sounds funny to me. I shut the portrait behind them. Hahahaha.. wow… im reallllly tired). Malfoy immediately laid himself out on my crimson couch like the lazy bum that he was. Dumbledore watched him, an amused twinkle in his eyes, and began to talk._

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"It has come to my attention that during yesterday's attention, Mr. Malfoy's mind was breached, so I am declaring these detentions no longer safe. You are not completely off the hook though. We will need to find something that will replace your regular detentions, and the extra detentions I'm sure you will be earning every night for staying out past curfew. If you go to this replacement detention, then I will remove your curfew until you move back to Gryffindor. Now Mr. Malfoy, it has also come to my attention that you are failing your muggle studies class." Malfoy shifted embarrassedly, on the couch. "I have a compromise for you two. Ms. Brown, you are to tutor Mr. Malfoy on muggle culture, and Mr. Malfoy will, in turn, teach you about the wizarding world so that you can fit in here better." I stared at him dumbly. No curfew and more knowledge about the wizarding world for the price of having to put up with Malfoy for an hour every evening. It was definitely worth it.

"We accept." Malfoy drawled from the couch.

"What? You can't just make my decisions for me!" I said indignantly.

"What would you have decided?"

"I don't know. I was thinking still." I said defensively

"You would've agreed. It's too good a chance to just pass up," I knew he was right but I didn't want to admit it.

"Just for that, I'm going to say no!" I shouted at him stubbornly.

"Are you stupid?" He yelled back, disbelievingly.

"Would it make it more appealing if I also gave both of you permission to leave the grounds as long as it's during your tutorial sessions? And how about I throw in a television with a DVD player?" Dumbledore inquired with a fake innocent twinkle in his eyes.

Groaning, I nodded in exasperation. "Fine! I give up! I agree!"

With a look of great achievement, Dumbledore produced a TV, nodded, and swooped out of the room, leaving Malfoy and me alone. I glanced at the very masculine and very muscular body strewn out on MY couch and then I headed for my stairs.

"Brown, wait." I kept on walking. "Just wait for a minute or two." I still didn't stop. "Holly-" I stopped and whipped around.

"Who gave you permission to call me by my first name?" Malfoy started walking towards me.

"I believe _you_ did after the way you kissed me back yesterday." Malfoy smirked.

"How dare you-"

"How dare I, what? How dare I mention that fact that you _were_ kissing me back? How dare I mention that anything even happened at all? How dare I act on my instincts? You are the most uptight, stubborn girl that I have ever met! Everything about you ticks me off, yet you're the only person in the school who's even remotely interesting! You've seen some of my darkest memories, yet you treat me the same way you always did. You're a muggle, but you're more than that. You stood up for yourself in front of the whole school, you saw Harry and his gang for what they really are, and you are your own person. You're supposed to be lower than everyone else in this school, yet you've made yourself higher. And then your body!" At this point in his speech, he began to grin, "You have a perfect body! Damn it Holly, you got ass! Half the guys in this school want you, but no one will go after you because you're a muggle! I'm supposed to be a fucking pureblood and act like a fucking pureblood and then you're here and you're supposed to be a fucking muggle and you're supposed to act like a fucking muggle, but you don't and you're more than that, and you just complicate everything! –"

I'm sure he kept talking, but I wasn't listening anymore. I was just watching his lips move, and the next thing I knew, I was pulling his head down to meet my lips. _Just shut up and kiss me already!_ I thought, hoping he would hear. _Gladly_, came his response. He was kissing me fiercely as he led me to the couch and lowered my body down beneath his. A vase flew by and crashed into a wall behind us, shattering into a thousand pieces. (A/N haha just kidding.. wow, ponta…. **"ponta" (9:46:32 PM):** can u have someone throw a vase…or ill do it my fanfic…) _THERE WAS NO VASE CRASHING FOR MY CONFUSED READERS.. JUST IGNORE THAT LAST LINE… _

He was kissing me fiercely as he led me to the couch and lowered my body down beneath his. My brain had given up on trying to stop me the second I had pulled his head down towards mine. Time had ceased to exist for several blissful moments, when suddenly the portrait swung open.

Dumbledore bustled in and grabbed a pen off a shelf on the one of the walls. "Sorry about that. I left my pen in here." And he bustled back out, shutting the portrait behind him and acting as if the horny teenagers in front of him were completely normal. Needless to say, my brain took advantage of my few seconds' shock and kicked back in. I sat up slowly and re-adjusted my clothes and my hair, and then I reached over and ran my fingers through Malfoy's hair, ruffling it more. I giggled and Malfoy smirked at me.

"Malfoy-" I began tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"Never mind." And I headed into the kitchen for lunch, Malfoy following close behind.

"You really have everything here, don't you?" He asked with a touch of envy in his voice.

"I guess."

"Why does Dumbledore like you so much? He gives you _everything_! Hell, he even chose you over Potter!"

I didn't let my mind dwell on it as I got out some bread, peanut butter, and strawberry jelly. As I was spreading the peanut butter over one piece of bread, I glanced up at Malfoy to see him watching me with disgusted amazement.

"You mean you're actually going to _eat_ that? That's disgusting!"

I smirked, finished my sandwich, and proceeded to take a huge, slow, bite out of it and make over dramatic faces at the wonderful taste. When I opened my eyes again, Malfoy was staring at me like I was insane, so I offered him a bite. He took it cautiously and sniffed it before taking a small bite and making a face as if to brace himself from what he predicted to be a horrible taste. Then his face relaxed and he took another bite.

"Okay, can I have my sandwich back now?"

"No!" He yelled with his mouth full.

"Immature enough? By the way, how can you already be failing muggle studies? We're only like six weeks into the school year!"

Malfoy glared at me and I flashed him a quick smile and then went over and stirred my pot. I saw Malfoy eye it curiously, but he didn't comment on it. _That's good, I suppose_, I thought. Slowly, I walked out of the kitchen towards the crimson couch, turning on the TV as I sat down. No cable, no satellite. Figures. I walked back over to the TV and noticed a stack of DVDs, Final Destination sitting right on top, so I put it into the DVD player and pressed start. Malfoy watched all this with an insane fascination.

"This is called a television," I said slowly, mocking him. He glared at me and then turned his attention back to the black box in front of him.

"This is really weird," he said finally, after about twenty minutes of watching the movie. I nodded and he moved so that he was lying across the couch with his feet on top of me. I tried to push them off me, but he tensed his legs, so I just let him be. After the movie was over, I pushed him off the couch all, and he landed face-first with a loud thud on the ground near my feet. I laid out my body so that I parallel to him, but still on the couch, and I leaned over the edge. He turned his head slowly with a groan and looked up at me.

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Sure."

And once again I was a hermit in a world of strange beings, and once again, I really didn't mind. Sighing, I thought back to how my life had been the year before. My dad had still been in jail, I had still been going to a muggle high school, my mom had still been alive, magic was just something my sister talked about when she came home on holidays, and my life was finally starting to become happy. Mom had only died a little over two months previously. None of this was fair. Why had my life been thrown around like that? Maybe the Gods just didn't like me very much.

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The next week passed fairly uneventfully. Malfoy and I got in several small fights, but nothing serious happened between us. I had finally managed to teach him how to use the DVD player, and now he liked to turn it on every time he came over, just to prove that he could.

My potion was almost finished. All that I needed to do was chose an animal I wanted to turn into. Sighing happily, I sat back on the couch and stared into space, trying to decide on an animal.

A knock on the door brought me back to reality and I checked the clock on the wall. It was 7:30 p.m. Malfoy was here again. Slowly I walked over to the portrait entrance and pushed it open. Once Malfoy had taken his usual position strewn out on my couch, I closed the portrait and faced him.

"So what are we supposed to be working on tonight?"

"Do we have to work? Let's go somewhere! Dumbledore gave us permission to leave school grounds, not that I need his permission." He smirked.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Let's go to Hogsmeade! I haven't been there in _ages_."

"What's Hogsmeade?"

Malfoy looked at me with an annoyed glare. "It's the only wizarding towns for _miles_. Several times a year all the Hogwarts students third year and above are allowed to visit it. Come on, let's go!"

He sat up and pulled himself off the couch, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out into the hallway. As we were walking towards the main entrance, I spotted Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting at a table bent over a chessboard. Quickly, I ducked behind Malfoy and he looked up to see what was going on. Instantly he spotted Harry and started weaving over in that direction, probably to insult him. "Please don't!" I whispered quickly and he paused, and started walking to the main entrance again. But it was too late.

"Malfoy, what's wrong? Scared to talk to us now?" Harry asked with a sneer.

"Just. Ignore. Them." I whispered. With a pained expression, he complied.

"Who's that with you? Catch another whore for your bed tonight? Oh wait, you couldn't get any even if you went for girls!"

That was just too much for Malfoy, and he whipped around, his wand out and pointing at Harry.

"Say that again, Potter?"

"I said, catch another who-" I had to stop this before it got to bad, and I stepped out from behind Malfoy, stopping Harry's flow of words in an instant. Rage filled his eyes as he stood up and began to approach us menacingly. I grabbed Malfoy's hand and pulled him away and out through the main entrance, leaving Harry staring after us with a murderous look on his face. Letting out the breath I'd been holding in, I dropped Malfoy's hand and slumped down on a bench. He came over and sat down next to me.

"You still want to go to Hogsmeade?" He asked. I nodded my head, stood up, and we started on our trek to Hogsmeade once more.

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**REVIEW NOOWWWWW**

**Hahaha.. I said '_once more_'.. im such a freak, GODDDSHHHH.. so anyways, ive had this chapter done for a really long time, ive just been to lazy to post it, but I guess I should finally get around to it.. anyways, I actually really like this chapter because it makes me laugh so much… heh, Dumbledore gives her like EVERYTHING… believe me though, all will be explained later.. and the next chapter adds more plot.**

**Okay, so I saw x-men 3 and it was really good, but the ending kinda pissed me off.. sigh and our school put on the laramie project about the gay college student who was brutally murdered and tortured(matthew shephard) in Laramie, Wyoming. Aparently it was really controversial and its been broadcasted across the nation because we're like the first high school to even attempt such a controversial play.. that's such BS. I hate that its controversial at all, it's a play showing only the truth, and its up to the audience to judge what really happened.**

**Holly's myspace: www(dot)myspace(dot)com(slash)notjustamudblood**

**go check it out... wow i had to edit that soo many times before it worked  
**


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